Love is a beautiful thing.. for people who find it easily. I, on the other hand, am one of those people who are just lonely forever. I've dated in the past but I always cut it short cause I get scared. I know it's probably my fault that I'll never have a boyfriend or girlfriend or.. whatever, but I still feel like I'll never have anyone.
My dad and uncles are so lucky. They all have girlfriends and they always talk about them. They talk about how they're so happy and love their girlfriends sooooo much! It's honestly sickening when you have to hear that 25/8. They don't understand how it gets under my skin but I don't blame them. I just wish they could stop talking about stupid love. Love sucks! Screw love!!
So we were all in the living room having a movie marathon considering it was Christmas break. We were watching Little Rascals but once that finished, dad got up to pick a new one. "Hey, we got The Titanic and Lady and the Tramp, which one do you wanna watch next, Y/n?" My dad asked. I rolled my eyes and huffed, "Neither, I'll be in my room. You can holler when dinner is done." I said getting up and to the stairs. "What's wrong?" He asked, genuinely curious. "Absolutely nothing!" I scoffed as I booked it to my room.
Of course the only two movies we had left were about falling in love.. The Titanic is basically a love story so calm down. Even two dogs can find love faster than I can!! This is ridiculous! I flopped onto my bed and got on my phone. Mikey had texted me just a minute ago.
(Normal, you bold, Mikey)
Hey what happened out there?
Nothing I'm fine
I don't believe that for a second but dinners ready
I'll be down, give me a sec
I put my phone onto my night stand and went to the bathroom that was in my room. I looked through the cabinet until I found my blade. I won't do it.. I won't do it this time! Just put the blade down, Y/n! My hands shook as I debated whether I should cut or not. I chose not to since I had to eat diner and it had been at least a week since I last cut.
When I got downstairs everyone was at the table and the plates were out. Pasta.. how pleasant. I took a seat and slouched in my chair. Everyone obviously noticed my by my body language that something was on my mind but continued on with their conversations. "God, I just love Lindsay! We're planning on having a date tomorrow!" My dad said. I rolled my eyes. "Oooo!! Me and Alicia are gonna have a date tomorrow too! We should have a double date!!" If I rolled my eyes any harder, they'd probably get stuck!
"Yeah, well Jamia said she has a surprise for me and she wants me to come over on Saturday!" Frank said. It just keeps coming! "Well I'm taking Christa to that diner down the street on Thursday!" Ray said. By this time I have had enough with the love talk. It was just so sickening!
I slammed my hands down on the table and stood up. "Well, I think I'm done! I'll be in my room, alone forever, for the next twenty five years so I'll see ya then. Oh and don't forget to tell all your girlfriends that I said fuck off!" I ran up to my room, I hadn't even touched my pasta and pasta was my favorite.
I got under my covers and cried. I couldn't believe what I had just said. I continued to cry until I heard a knock on my door. I looked out from my covers to see Frank and Mikey at my door. "Just go away!" I said while burrowing back under my covers. "I can't really do that right now, Y/n." Frank said as he gestured Mikey to come in and shut the door behind him. "Y/n, what happened?" Mikey asked.
"Everyone always talks about how their love life is just so great, and I'm always in the background, being a dumb flop and single. I want to be with someone so bad but no one will ever be there! That scares me cause if you guys can get all these chicks and I can't even get one chick or dude, how am I ever gonna be happy? I've felt this way ever since you guys started rambling on about your girlfriends. I even.. I even.. I-I almost cut over it.." I said, looking down at my wrists that we covered my bracelets.
"Ross, I'm so sorry you feel that way, but you should never hurt yourself over it. You'll find someone." Frank said coming closer and sitting next to me. "Easy for you to say. Anyways you guys can get out of here, I'm obviously being annoying and dramatic."
"You're not being annoying or dramatic, it's fine! I used to feel the same way." Mikey said, getting closer as well. He kneeled down and looked up to me. Mikey took my hands into his and kissed them. "I don't want you to hurt yourself, one day you'll find someone and you'll marry them and you'll come back to us and say 'Gee, you guys were right!' I laughed and a tear fell from my eye. "Hey hey hey, you ok?" Frank said worriedly. "Yeah I'm fine I just-" I finally let the tears flow and my sentence was flooded with incoherent words masked by sobs.
Mikey pulled me closer and I hugged him. After about ten minutes of hugging, we broke the hug and stared at each other. "I think I'll go downstairs now, Mikey." I said bashfully. It's not like I liked him it's just that.. I wouldn't mind.. dating him? WHICH IS OK FOR ME TO SAY CAUSE IM ADOPTED!!
We went downstairs and I went up to my dad who was in the kitchen making coffee. I hugged him from behind as he jumped. He must've thought I was still upstairs. "Sorry, Dad.. for swearing and freaking out." He turned around, "It's fine, sweets. I know how you feel and it can be tough sometimes. Just don't.. hurt yourself, ok?"
"Yeah, ok but how'd you know all that? How did you find out about the lonely thing and the cutting?" I asked, truly confused. "Oh, while you and Mikey were hugging, Frank came down and told me about everything." I nodded and hugged him again.
Well, love is hard to find but I just have to have hope that I'll someday find the right person.
A/N: so, I put a lot of myself in this one cause I've been feeling pretty lonely lately but I hope you guys enjoyed
Stay safe, killjoys!
xxxxx
