per ☹ fect // zalfie

per ☹ fect

"Zoe" Tanya said patiently."Come out, I want to see your outfit". I glanced at myself in the reflection of the bathroom mirror and frowned.

"I can't come out, I look stupid" I moaned before I could unzip the horrifying dress off me. The bathroom door crashed open with Louise and Tanya both studying me.

"You look flipping stunning" Louise said. "Seriously look in the mirror".

"I already have, I hate this dress" I protested.

"Try this" Tanya lumped a new dress into my hands and matching pair of heels, then ushered Louise's and herself of of the bathroom before I could react. I acted obediently as I switched outfits.

Holy shit.

"Tanya" I whined. "Now I look like a slut, it's not fancy dress."

"I bet is not that bad" she moaned from outside the door, then opening it making her mouth drop at the sight of me. "Wow" she paused. "If I was a guy or lesbian I would be hitting on you tonight". I gave her a worried expression as she shook her head. "I'm happily with Jim". Tanya yanked me out of the bathroom and pushed me into Louise's sight.

"You look hot" Louise finally replied. My cheeks burned as I gritted my teeth looking into another mirror.

The dress actually looked cute.

"I think the bathroom lights made it look slutty" I admitted. "It looks cute" I shrugged. The black dress clung to the waist and above tightly and flowed out of the bottom coming above my knees, looking rather short. I wore matching heels and attempted to curl my hair, which I guess would fall out through the night.

"See" Tanya rolled her eyes playfully. " I knew you would love that dress, it's not slutty. It's cute and classy" she described as Louise nodded.

Marcus gave us the address to Tyler house, we arranged to meet everyone inside. I was rather anxious in the car as we approached Tyler houses. The last party I went to ended up pretty bad.

I thought I love you.

I thought you love me.

Those a feelings disappeared, as feeling a devolved for death.

I clung tightly onto the half empty bottle of wine in my left hand and in my right I held shakily an open bottle of pills. Overdose, suicide, death. Crying softly to myself, you and I were meant to be together. I thought our love was true, like in fairytales.

"Love" I gagged taking another sip from the bottle. "Rather be dead, than see you loving her" I cussed to myself, taking in the familiar surrounds of the family bathroom. Even though my eye sight was blurry, I could managed to stumble home. Luckily enough my parents and Joe had gone away for the weekend thinking I was still with my 'boyfriend'. Good boyfriend who was practically eating a girls face off the party then denying even though I saw him kiss her. I crumpled up the letter I had finished writing.

'I don't want to hurt you or anybody so please forget about me. Just try. Find yourself a better girlfriend like her. You said you loved me, you said you cared for me. We would be together for infinity, but tonight you have shone the light. That you don't want an imperfect girl like me, she's prettier, she's skinner, she's funnier, she's better. Don't deny, her lips are softer to touch than mine. I don't want to hear another lie from you, saying you love me. Let me be free and one day I'll forget about you, like you have forgotten about me.

I'm sorry mum,dad,Joe. I can't live like this any longer, life has be a constant battle that I'm failing at. The gates are open and the light is bright, I need to go and spread my wings. I'm useless on this earth, I'm not anyone's number one.

Remember I love you.'

"Bye world" I whispered, opening up the pills ready to pour them down my throat.

"Stop".

"Tonight is going to be a good night" Louise shirked as we stepped foot into the buzzing house, full of half drunken teenagers. The lights were dimmed with the DJ lights coloured brightly, music pumping barley hearing your own thoughts. "Look there" Louise trailed off pointing into the direction of Marcus and a shorter blonde girl.

"Glad you made it Louise, Zoe" Marcus greeted us as I followed Louise. "Zoe you haven't met Naomi, Naomi is my girlfriend" he announced proudly kissing her softly on the cheek as she blushed.

"Hi" I said shyly, looking around the busy room. "I barley know any of theses people" I gritted my teeth, noticing the unfamiliar faces.

"Neither, I've recently moved to Italia" she admitted biting her nails.

"Same" I gasped then laughed. "How did you know Marcus then?" I wondered as we seated down on the modern sofa.

"He's been a family friend for a couple of years, our love has grown and grown. Then when I found I was moving to Italia and Marcus attended it kinda just started" she giggled. "What about you? Seen any boys that you think are good looking?".

"Alfie Deyes is good looking" I admitted blushing redder than my new mac lipstick.

"Very" she added. "I heard Jack Harries kissed you" she gossiped.

"Don't remind me" I rolled my eyes in disgust of the memorie.

"You two should totally date, you may hate him but eventually you will love him". I laughed at Naomi as she raised her eyebrows. "Where is Jack anyway?" She lifted her eye view up at the blazing party.

"Don't know, don't care" I muttered under my breath.

Surprising, Jack found myself and I Naomi seated down and dragged us both into the middle of the room surrounded by unfamiliar faces. Naomi clung onto Marcus arms as he rested his arms around her. Whilst I stood opposite Jack as he slowly made himself drunk.

"Zoe" he slurred. "Have a drink" he pressed a small bottle of strong vodka in the palm of my hands. "It will help you loose up and forget about everything" he whispered in my ear as the smell of alcohol hit my face.

"I'll rather not" I said firmly pushing the drink back into his hands. "Have you seen Louise or Joe?" I asked, as Marcus and Naomi both shock there heads.

"Joe over there" Jack laid his hands against my shoulder turning me towards the far right hand corner where Joe stood talking to a small brunette and beside him was Alfie.

Kissing a girl.

I felt a large lump in my throat as I blinked multiple times at Alfie and this red headed girl, him smiling at her. "Jack" I forced a smile. "I'll have that drink" I winked, taking hold of the vodka tipping it down my throat.

Alcohol ruined my mums life.

How was it going to fix mine?