Pushing Time

Part 15

Part Fifteen

~Tracy~

Johnathan stood at my door, looking like a broken man. I had to let him go. It wasn't right to send someone off to the crabbing grounds like this. It was my fault.

I opened the door without saying anything. Neal stepped in as well.

"It's okay Neal, I've got this," I said.

He looked at both of us with worry. "I'll be on the boat," he mumbled before leaving.

Johnathan came in and sat down. I looked at him and started to talk.

"Johnathan, I'm more sorry than you will ever know. This wasn't in my plans either. I don't expect anything for you," I said, trying not to tear up.

"I know. I'm sorry I said those things to you. I didn't mean them. I'm just in shock."

"I think it's best if maybe we take a break while you're gone. You need to stay focused, not worry about me," I said, wiping away my tears.

Johnathan got up and came to comfort me. As soon as he got close, I moved away quickly, avoiding eye contact with him.

"Tracy, I don't know what to do. I want to make this right before I leave," he said.

He came up behind me. He was so close I could feel him breathing against my neck, sending chills right through me. I had my arms folded across my chest, my guard up.

"I think we should just stay apart. It's safer for you and for me. I'm fine, the baby is good. So far there are no concerns," I told him.

I still wouldn't look at him. He reached up and lightly placed his hand on my shoulder, causing me to jump. I reached up and touched his hand.

"You need to go Johnathan. Please be safe."

I started out the window into the darkness. The darkness reflected my feelings.

"If that's really how you feel...I'll have Sabrina check in with you so I can get updates if you don't want me involved for the time being."

I wiped the tears off my cheek. "I think it's for the best like I said."

He let out a long sigh. I heard him turn and open the door, closing it quietly behind him. He didn't say goodbye.

I flopped myself back into bed and set my alarm so I wouldn't miss my flight. I couldn't wait to get the hell out of Dutch.

~Andy~

Andy's alarm went off at six AM. Moaning, he turned over and saw his wife snuggled up against him. He nestled into her neck, holding her tight.

"One last time baby, I promise. I'll retire after this season," he whispered into her ear.

Sabrina smiled and turned to see her husband's blue eyes staring at her.

"You've been saying that for a while Andy. I'll believe it when I see it," she said. "I love you. Please take care of yourself and Johnathan. I pray he can make it through one last time and make it right with Tracy."

"I think he will in time. Please check on her for me and for John. I know it will mean a lot to him."

"I will. I love you, Andy."

He kissed her and got up to go get dressed.

~Tracy~

Axel and Ashlee were checking out. She was going to walk him to the docks. Ashlee saw a taxi pull up and her heart sank, knowing who it was for.

Axel was paying when I came down the stairs with my bag.

"I'm paying for Ms. Luciana's room as well," he told the clerk.

"Ms. Luciana's room has already been paid for," the clerk replied.

"By whom?" I wondered.

The clerk looked down at the computer. "By Johnathan Hillstrand," he responded.

I sighed. "Thank you."

We all walked out and Axel gave my bags to the taxi driver.

"Make sure she gets there safely," he told the driver, handing him an extra 20 bucks.

"Axel stop paying for me!" I scolded him.

"Sorry, but you might as well get used to it. You and your baby are part of the family now. We protect our loved ones."

I smiled at him. "You be safe out there, kid. Thank you for your kindness."

Axel and Ashlee stepped forward and gave me hugs.

"Call me anytime, Tracy. I mean it, day or night," Ashlee said.

I nodded, seeing Andy and Sabrina come outside as well. I smiled bravely at them. Andy came over to pay my cab fare.

"You're too late. Axel already took care of it," Ashlee laughed.

Andy chuckled and gave me a hug. "Check in with Sabrina and please take care of yourself, for both me and Johnathan," he whispered in my ear.

Sabrina was the last one to come up to me. "You check in with me when you get home!" she instructed.

"I will don't worry."

I got into the taxi, ready to leave and go home.

I got home later that night and picked my daughter up. I would have to tell her soon about the baby. I thought I would wait until Christmas.

As the month went on, I would check in with Sabrina only because she wouldn't stop bugging me. She insisted on Rose and I coming out for New Years, but my doctor didn't want me flying with all the stress I was under. I was walking and doing morning water walking. It felt wonderful.

I started feeling better the second week into December which was my birthday as well. I was trying to stay positive about it all. Knowing the baby was healthy was helping. I was choosing not to find out the gender of the baby. I was due in July. I found it funny that it was close to Rose's birthday. She would be 13.

I awoke on the morning of my 42nd birthday alone, and four months pregnant. I would not get depressed, I promised myself. Rose came running into my room at 6 AM, super excited.

"Mommy! Mommy, there is a huge package for you downstairs! You're supposed to get dressed right away and come to see!"

"Really? What have you been up to?" I asked her.

"It's not me! Come to see! It's from...I forget...but come on! AND it's supposed to snow today!" she yelled, racing down the hall.

I slipped on my sweats and my Seahawks sweatshirt, not bothering with makeup just yet. I walked into the living room to the familiar sound of a deep husky voice, and a puppy barking. I turned around the corner and gasped. Not only was there a golden retriever puppy licking Rose's face but there he was, all the way from Dutch Harbor, Alaska.

"Johnathan!" I exclaimed.

He got up from the couch where he was with Rose and the puppy. He came up to me, smiling, gently putting his hand on my grown belly. He went in to kiss me and I turned my face so he met my cheek instead.

"Happy birthday. I didn't want you to be alone on your birthday," he said, looking deeply into my eyes.

"Thank you," I whispered, wrapping my arms tightly around him.