Danganronpa 2 x reader (pre-despair)

Chapter 23: so long and goodnight friend..

Song: too good at goodbyes-Sam Smith
Also, I might change (y/n) to the actual name I had because it's just so much easier to type and I'm just a lazy piece of shit. Also it just flows better than (y/n), so yeh.
If you see the name 'Chi', that's your new name. SUPRISE. (You can always change it, no biggie) sorry for the switch up~
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Skipping ahead a few days because nothing to prominent happened, Kaz and I rocked our rocket/space project, with both of us getting some of the highest grades in the class. We even hung out a bit more afterwards, we grew pretty close. It was nice knowing that I had someone else to talk to, but no one knew the most about me other than Nagito, so it was pretty hard to open up around new people.

Moving aside from that, I was now at home, sterilizing my wound from the other day. It was now the weekend, so I had the day to myself-hopefully.

Even though it was just me myself and I, my head was spinning, like I was at a massive party with over 100 people. My headache grew more and more with every second passing, and what didn't help was that I was still trying to figure out why the hell I cut myself first instead of Fuyuhiko.
'You had one job Chi, one fUCKING JOB AND YOU ALMOST BLEW IT?! Seriously get it together..'
More and more of these thoughts pressed every inch of my brain, causing my headache to grow. I eventually gave up on sterilizing everything and just put everything away in a fit of anger, sighing loudly in the process.
Stomping down the stairs, I went past the long mirror as usual, and made my way to the kitchen to make breakfast. I turned on the coffee machine, then rushed back upstairs to get changed, oblivious to the dire pain and small rush of blood from the cuts on my thighs that I didn't bandage too well.
I got to my room and as usual, started throwing clothes around, attempting to pick a decent outfit.
I got changed into black skinny jeans, an oversized tee shirt, and topped it all off with my usual pair of black docs, (Just change if ya want) then jetted back downstairs to get my coffee. As I rushed down the hall, I took a quick glance at muskeg in the mirror beside me. I did a double take and stopped in my tracks to reveal me: but with unwashed makeup from yesterday, bags under my eyes that look like they've just been bought from the dollar store.
"Ugh..I look even grosser than usual.." with that in the air I ran back upstairs, washed my face, put on fresh makeup, then ran back downstairs to find my coffee cold.
I took a slip and mentally face palmed at my stupidity.
"How could you fuck up one on the simplest jobs ever Chi?" I muttered to myself. That day, everything I did I'd just blame myself wrongly. I wasn't in my groove, I was just...lost.

I just sighed, sat down on a chair, and put my head down on the table. I then started to lightly hit it against the table saying "why. Can't. You. Do. Anything. Right. You. Stupid. Fucking-"
*ding dong*
I stopped in my tracks and lifted my head. I gave a slight grunt as I got off the chair and headed towards the door.

As I opened the door, a familiar face appeared which send my witty mood to a more upbeat one.
"Hi Chi!"
I raised a brow.
"What are you doing here Nagito?"
He frowned.
"Ah so I guess I'm not welcomed-"
"Nono!" I yelled. Nagito looked at me confusingly.
As much as it was weird to say, I needed his presence right now. Before anything got too drastic.
"Come in, let's chill."
He smiled and entered, closing the door behind him.
He followed me into the kitchen, and sat down in the same spot I always found him in.
"So Chi, anything new?"
I sat down across from him.
"Anything new from the least time I saw you-which was about 5 days ago?" I said sarcastically. He tilted his head.
"You know what I mean."
I shrugged.
"Yeah yeah. Not much really, just regular shit like school. What about you?"
His Demeter changed. "Actually I'm doing 50/50. I wanted to come and talk to you about something though."
I gave him a confused glare. "Is everything okay?"
"Everything's great! I really just wanted to say that if I disappear, don't worry about me." At first he sounded happy, but after that he changed to a more monotonous voice. I leaned in further on the table.
"What the hell are you talking about? Why are you gonna disappear, and why-"
"I mean, you shouldn't worry about useless waste of space anyways, but still. I'm fine, please don't worry. I'd hate to be a burden to someone like you."
He stared to get off his chair and walk to the door. I chased after him and grabbed a little too close to his hand. He turned in a shocked and confused state.
"Nagito what the fuck is going on? I'm obviously gonna worry either way. Please just tell me, you can leave forever okay?!"
At this point I was pleading for him to tell me what the fuck was happening. Both of us were shocked at the sound of my voice and my worries. I'm usually the quiet, monotoned person who's a sarcastic little asshole. I don't have "feelings".

Or at least, that's what I set out to be.

After staring at me for a bit, Nagito replied "Chi, I'll tell you when the time is right. For now, I need to go. Don't worry, I'll be fine. If anything, I should be worrying about you. Please be safe, and don't even think about doing anything that can harm yourself in any way. " He let go of my hand and started walking out the door.
Eventually he walked out, leaving me in a quizzed state, confused and for once in my teen years petrified.
I didn't even realize I started to cry until I felt warm tears trickle down my face. I just replayed everything that had happened in my mind.
"What...." I said quietly.
Then I got angry. And that's when chaos ensued.
"WHAT THE FUCK? WHY DOES EVERYONE IN MY LIFE LEAVE ME? HOW BAD OF A PERSON AM I? WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO FUCKING DESERVE THIS SHITTY ASS LIFE?" I yelled. More tears began to run down my face as I stomped to my couch and threw my pillows everywhere.

In my mind, all that echoed was "I'm useless, no one likes me, everything's my fault, I cause everyone to leave...'

I genuinely believed it was my fault.

The reason the person I felt so close to left me just like that,

The reason why my parents left me like that,

The reason I'm not loved by anyone,

I thought it was all my fault.

"Why...why can't I do anything fucking right....."

Get the reason why I chose this song? Cause Chi experiences so many goodbyes that she's become use to it. Hence why she's "too good at goodbyes".

Or that she doesn't wanna "get too close to you, even if I mean the most to you, in case you go and leave me in the dirt"? Because she has trust issues, and doesn't wanna get attached to someone and be so open with them, only to be left alone with her heart on her sleeve.

This song and the lyrics basically sum up Chi's life, and it's in a catchy tune by an amazing artist :)

But seriously this is my favourite song ever, and it fits so well with Chi, I can't even explain how amazing it resinates with her life. ~Issa 👽