I Will Never Love You

Words We Could Never Find

Bella and Lucian sat next to each other on the couch. The same couch that Bella fell asleep on top of him. The same couch where they last opened up to each other.

This time, instead of melting into the cushions from exhaustion, the two werewolves were as stiff as a board. A large gap was left in between them as their eyes searched for anything to latch onto as long as it wasn't each other.

Bella sat frozen, her mind completely blank. It was just like when Bella was younger and had a test in front of her. She knew the answers inside an out, but as soon as that paper hit her desk everything went out the window. She knows she needs to bring up Valenthia. She knows she needs to apologize for never actually giving him a chance. She knows this will hurt her pride, but she understands she has to do it. So why won't her mouth work?

Her pale blue eyes glanced over at the handsome wolf next to her. To those unaware of Lucian's true persona, they would think he was brooding or coming up with some dark plan, but Bella knew different by now. His forehead wasn't scrunched up in anger and his muscles weren't flexing out. He sat rigid with the one exception of his jaw ticking back and forth in the most minuscule way.

Lucian's eyes darted towards Bella's so suddenly she practically jumped in her seat. She quickly shifted her eyes back to the wall across from them. She just needed to be brave for 5 seconds. She took a deep breath in and forced herself to look back into the awaiting eyes of her mate.

"I'm sorry."

Lucian's eyebrows shot up in surprise. His body seemed to relax as he leaned back into the seat to take in her words as if they were a blow to his chest. He opened his mouth only to quickly close it. He furrowed his brows and glanced back at Bella.

"You're sorry?" She slowly nodded her head. "For what?"

Bella sighed before she too fell back into the couch and gazed at the wall. This will be so much easier if she can't see his beautiful face.

"For hating someone I don't know."

"You hate me?" The pain in his voice was heavy. Bella screwed her eyes shut while mentally scolding herself. Probably not the best way to start a conversation.

"I thought I did." She tried to explain. She was grasping at straws knowing she could never fully reach them. "I don't hate you, Lucian. I just don't love you."

Why did she always have to bring it back to that? She felt like she was a broken record, it was beginning to annoy herself. Yet, the words fell from her lips easier than pie, and she loved pie. She heard Lucian sigh from next to her and she watched as he hunched over and pressed his hands to his eyes.

"What can I do for you to love me?" He asked while looking over at her. His eyes were alight with desperation and Bella sighed. It's not like she can make herself fall in love with him.

"Time, Lucian. I need time to know you. And to see the good in you." Bella's eyes dropped to her lap after she saw the disappointed look on Lucian's face. "Obviously, the mate bond is there. And regardless of what I've said, you're not an evil person, you just don't show me your good side. Sure you can compliment me and open up a little, but the next thing you're doing is shaking me and telling me you're going to lock me up again."

It was quiet between them for a while after Lucian nodded his head. They sat there as they both took in every detail of the plain white wall across from them.

"Lucian..." His large frame shifted a little to get a better look at her. "Why do you get so angry? Elena made it seem like something happened when you wer-"