Broken

14.

August

I sneezed for what felt like the millionth time while walking through this garden wit Zel.

She wasn't joking when she said it was quiet. Only thing you heard was the small waterfalls and fountains.

Most gardens, you'd hear birds chirpin' or some. There wasn't even no bees or butterflies surprisingly, like do they know about dis' place?

"You like nature huh?" I watched her take pictures.

"A lot." She smiled. "We can leave if it's really bothering you."

"No, no -- I can handle it."

We held hands and continued walking down the path wit dese' weird plant statue things.

"August? I wanna know what happened to your back." Izel said low.

I looked at her and debated if I wanted ta tell her.

"Nah."

"Why not? I won't judge you. I've been through too much to judge." She frowned.

"So are you saying that if you hadn't gone through that stuff, you would judge?"

"You're thinking too deep."

"I know, but you don't need ta worry about it."

"But I can't help but to. It looks like a lion came and scratched you up."

I looked at her and tried not ta laugh. She always referring something ta a lion.

"When I was like -- fifteen or fourteen, that's when I first started therapy because they tried ta say I had big anger issues, which I still don't believe I did, but anyways, I guess I scared my therapist ta the point she put she convinced my mama ta take me to this camp type thing where I stay for six weeks and they teach me how to be calm and allat. Afta' the second week, I was starting not to like it there, so in the room I was sleepin' in, there was this wall with nails on it, so i took the nails out and I'd scratch myself wit em, I didn't think that was suicide because I didn't wanna die, i just wanted ta be hurt to the point where I can leave and go ta the hospital."

"August you could've died from doing that. You also could've got poisoned or whatever because nails are dirty and rusty."

"I understand dat now, they should've listened ta me when I said i wanted ta leave."

"I thought someone was abusing you." She said quietly.

"I'm sorry I made you think dat'." I looked at her. "You so beautiful you know?"

"Tuh! I wish."

"You ain't even gotta wish, because you are. Why you don't think you beautiful?"

"Because -- My stepdad tells me i'm ugly, and after how long i've had to deal with him, I started to believe him. I feel dirty, and that no man would want me in the future because i'm not a virgin."

"Wait -- you're not a virgin?"

She looked at me and it looked like she was about to cry. I knew what she meant when she said it now.

"Baby, you can still claim your virginity. You ain't give that son of a bitch no type of permission."

"No i can't Aug." She wiped her fallen tears.

"In my eyes you still a virgin. Rape isn't sex -- you lose your virginity when you freely have sex with someone you love."

I wiped her tears and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

"Stop crying." I moved her hair out of her face.

"I appreciate you for being here. I'm sorry I misjudged you--"

"Don't apologize for dat'." I smiled.

"Can I get another kiss?"

I gave her another kiss and she gave me a small smile.

"Before I met you, I neva' knew what it was like ta be able ta look at someone and smile fa' no reason." I said as we continued our walk.

"Stop doing that." She giggled.

"Doing what?"

"Making me blush. It burns."

"I'm sorry." I chuckled.

"We can head back to the house now -- I'm getting tired."

"Yes ma'am." I took her hand and we walked back to the car.
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