Broken

18.

Next day.

Izel

I woke up and felt my bed was empty. I didn't like when he didn't sleep with me. I felt safe sleeping with him. I've never felt safe with anyone..

I got out of bed and did my morning routine and when I was done, I walked downstairs and saw Travis and Mama sheila joking around in the kitchen, like always, and August was in the living room on his laptop.

"good morning" I smiled and sat next to him.

"Mornin' baybeh." He smiled and gave me a kiss.

"What are you doing?" I looked at his screen and saw him on youtube.

"Downloadin' music wit'cho nosey ass." He chuckled.

"Whatever" I giggled. "You don't have nothing planned for today, do you?"

"You know I'a cancel my plans for you baybeh -- You got some in mind?"

"I just wanted to cuddle all day." I smiled and laid my head against his shoulder.

"Hell nah Zel."

His tone had dropped.

"Please?" I poked out my bottom lip.

He looked over at me and gave in.

"Fine -- You betta' not be tellin' ya lil friends dat we cuddle eitha'."

"What friends?" I giggled.

We were about to go upstairs but Mama Sheila had stopped us.

"Listen, y'all two betta' not be up there having sex -- But Im gonna be gone until around six, and Izel, I need to talk to you when I get back home."

"Yes ma'am." I smiled. "And I promise -- Me and Aug aren't doing anything." I giggled.

"Yet." August mumbled and I pinched him.

"I love y'all and I'a see ya later." She gave both of us a kiss on the cheek and left.

When she left, we continued on to my room and started to binge watch Chucky.

"Baybeh -- sit up real quick" August groaned.

I frowned and sat up and saw he had bulge in his pants.

I gasped.

"I'm sorry," I laughed a little bit

"Just stay off it and it'll go away." He chuckled.

"How does it feel?" I looked at him.

"How does what feel?"

"it -- Sex, or love, however you guys put it."

"You wanna know what it feels like to be loved?" He looked at me.

I nodded my head.

"I don't know -- I never really loved a girl as much as I love you."

"I love you too." I smiled and kissed him.

"You'on needa' worry bout that typa' lovin' yet. We gon' wait." He twisted his fingers with mine.

I appreciated that he had that much respect for me. The only time I've ever heard a man this kind was in the movies. August was like a dream, and it was a dream I never wanted
to wake up from.

I felt a vibration coming from his pocket and it was his phone.

He pulled it out and I saw Celeste picture flashing across the screen.

"Another one of Yall's talks?" I sat up.

"Uhm -- Nah, she can wait."

"I already know what you did to her, so I won't mind you two talking. I understand -- it's for closure."

"Wait, who told you?" He moved me off him.

"I found out myself. I don't see you any different -- Just wish you never did it but, you weren't able to control it -- I get it."

"I was able ta control it Zel -- I don't know what happened, I just spazzed the fuck out."

"Maybe -- Just maybe you should get back in touch with your therapist."

"Why?" He frowned.

"Because I want to make sure you're even stable enough to be in a new relationship."

He stayed quiet.

"You think I'll do the same thing?"

"I'm gonna be honest and say yes. I love you August but --"

Before I could say anything else he had got up and left my room.

I sighed in defeat and closed my door.

I honestly felt bad. I want to be with him but I can't if he's not gonna get back to talking with his therapist.