Tentacles

10

It was Easter.

My mom had called and asked if I wanted to have dinner with her and a few of my grandparents and cousins.

I asked if Hailey could tag along, and she didn't have any problems with it.

I remember getting ready and looking down at my dresser as the corner of something gray peeked up at me. 

I lifted it from the drawer, causing shirts to  tumble and unfold. It was my gray sweater, the one I wore on our first date.

I pulled it over my head and slipped on  the brightest pair of jeans I could find.

We were walking in the door of my mom's house. The place buzzed with excitement, everyone was murmuring in a chorus of syrupy words, and some of my younger cousins were weaving through people in attempts to play tag.

My mom walked towards us, and my heart beat faster. I smiled and greeted my mom.

"Mom, this is Hailey, my girlfriend."

My mom's smile sharpened just a bit, and instead of her usual, kind smile, it was shiny and sharp and looked painful.

While Hailey was interacting with my grandparents, my mom grabbed my arm and tugged me into the bathroom.

"Girlfriend? Jaimie, what were you thinking?"

I frowned. "Mom, I love her!"

She rolled her eyes. "And to think.... just after the anniversary of your father's death. What would he think?"

I slammed my hand on the marble sink. "Dad's dead, mom! He's gone! And- and I know that me being gay was what killed him AND Emily, but he's GONE. Now, you can accept it or you can leave me alone, your choice."

I walked out of the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. I grabbed Hailey's hand, saving her from my aunt's story about how she met my uncle in a mall food court.

I stormed out of the door and onto the car, fuming.

"What's going on?"

I turned and kissed Hailey on the lips.

It wasn't the first time, nor was it the last, but this time it felt new, almost free. 

I broke away. "Damn homophobes."

I started the ignition and drove away from my mom, and the house, and my family.

We spent that Easter in the parking lot at Taco Bell, feasting on tacos until the sun went down.