I am Jonathan Morgenstern.

If I Cannot Move Heaven

(Listen to 'True Friends Stab You In The Front' by Bring Me the Horizon. Song is above. Photo is mine so please don't take it:)

Jonathan held the dagger steadily in his hand taking aim. 3...2...1... He threw it with such a force that not only did it hit the painted target, but ripped right through it. He grinned at his accomplishment. While his Father was babysitting Jace aka the 'Golden Boy' , he was getting better. It still wasn't enough, but he was improving. He wouldn't stop until he was satisfied and was never satisfied. After letting out a few hate fuelled punches he just stopped and stood, swaying slightly on his trembling legs. Tearing a strip of material from his shirt, he wrapped it around his knuckles. They were bleeding. He didn't mind, it didn't hurt him anymore. He just felt so numb. His goal kept him going, it kept him focused. He was going to rebel and he would find any remains of family he had left and glue them back together. Finding his mother would not be simple, but he had questions and although he struggled to admit it, he still had a few fragments of his childhood dreams, hidden somewhere amongst the burning desire to destroy the world. He was tired of being second best, tired of being 'too cruel' according to his father and he wanted, he needed, to find whatever shreds of hope he could hang onto. Jonathan wouldn't deny that he was full of malice, yet he could honestly say, it was not his doing. But what help would that do? Whoever did it, whatever happened to him, nobody cared about that. All they saw when the stared into his harsh voids of eyes, was a monster, the very monster he once feared, the creature he had become. Jonathan desperately wanted somebody, anybody to see him for all the good he once was and not for all the evil he possessed and perfect things he could never be. Invisible. Forgotten. Misunderstood. His heart pounded in fury and determination. Not this time. He was no longer Valentine's captive. Although he lived on his father's land, he could no longer be restrained and soon the world would feel his wrath. Smirking to himself, he smoothed his hair back with cold, bloody fingertips and repeated it like a mantra,
if I cannot move heaven, I will raise hell...