Feels Like Heaven

Chapter 18 : Wouldn't Hurt So Much

 Paulo's House...

Gerald dropped Sarah into Paulo's house later that day. He wanted to come with her but she knew that she should do this on her own. When they reached Paulo's house, Gerald squeezed her hand for support.

"I will be just few blocks away." Gerald reminded.

Sarah just nodded and she squeezed back his hand. 

"I'll just call you afterwards." She said plainly. Gerald nodded and gave her a goodbye kiss on the lips.

"I miss you already." Gerald said to make things lighter.

Sarah smiled and hit Gerald on his arm. "Bolero." Gerald just stuck his tongue out. 

Sarah was about to get out of the car but Gerald stopped her. Sarah looked at him questioningly. 

"I love you." Gerald said seriously at her.

She couldn't help but smile. "I love you too." Then they kissed once again.

Sarah went out the car and pushed the doorbell. Gerald waited until Sarah was inside. He wanted to stay outside but Sarah insisted that she'll ask her driver to pick her up later. He know she would want space after this. She is in a difficult situation and he understood that. He just wish everything would be alright afterwards.

Sarah slowly walked towards Paulo, who is sitting outside his garden. When Sarah reached him, she smiled slightly and Paulo greeted her with a big smile. He tried to kiss her but she looked away. This made Paulo's smile falter. 

"Paulo, we need to talk." 

Paulo nodded and asked her to sit on the chair beside his chair. Sarah obliged and sited at the chair. She was looking down and she's hardly breathing. Nobody spoke for a minute. Sarah was gathering her strength and thoughts on how to break the heart of the person in front of her. Paulo, on the other hand, is observing her body language and trying to absorb what she wanted to say. He already understood what she wanted to do, but still patiently waited for her.

Paulo held her hand which made her jerk back. She looked at him and she saw pain and sadness in his eyes. She looked back down unable to take the look in his eyes.

"Hey, it's okay. You can tell me." Paulo said softly.

"i don't want to hurt you." Sarah whispered.

Paulo closed his eyes trying to stop the tears from falling. He squeezed her hand for reassurance. She looked at him again and she saw a sad smile in his face. "Just sing it to me instead. It's less painful that way."

Sarah nodded and thought for a perfect song to describe what she'd be doing. After a minute, she started singing Katharine McPhee's "Say Goodbye"... 

If I seem distant 

Baby I am 

Words are like scissors in your hands 

And there’s no script to follow 

So I just close my eyes 

That way it won’t hurt so much 

When we say goodbye 

Sarah couldn't fight the tears in her eyes. It hurt her that she needed to do this. Paulo is a good guy. He was always there for her and he's a great friend. She had love her in her own ways. But she knew that even if Gerald didn't come to his senses they would still break up eventually. She didn't love him the way he loves her. And it would be unfair to him.