Too Much That it Hurts

Appa's wish

Drenched in sweat, Sooyoung sat on the front row of the blencher in her taekwondo uniform. Even when she clearly was seeing her other friends still practicing inside the arena, she put a blank face. Too many thoughts had been running around her mind. And those include Jessica, Yoona, and Jessica, and Yoona, and so on.

Suddenly she felt a cold thing pressed ono her right cheek.

“Pocari for your thought.” Yoona was smiling brightly while handling her the bottle. She had another one for her in her other hand. Sooyoung quickly replied with a weak smile.

“Thanks, Yoong.”

Those unenergetic actions she’d been showing all day was not left unnoticed by her younger girlfriend. And really, it was annoyed Yoona’s curiosity so much to see her like that.

“I saw you zoning out a lot today. Are you okay?”

Sooyoung smiled and messed up Yoona’s hair.

“I’m okay..” But I don’t think I’ll make you okay in the future.

“Jinjja?” Yoona asked again while cupping Sooyoung’s cheeks with her both palms, making their eyes met in a sequence.

Sooyoung looked through into those doe eyes and she could feel a huge sincerity. Those doe eyes looking back at hers worriedly, asking if the soul who owned them could help the taller girl with all her might, with all the love, with everything she has. And that made Sooyoung sad. That made Sooyoung worried. That made Sooyoung frustrated.

She wondered if Yoona knew what she had done to hurt her. What she has done to this angel’s poor soul. What kind of game she played behind her back.

“Are you really okay?”

 Sooyoung nodded, replied by Yoona’s sighs.

“Okay then.”  She then let her hands off from the latter’s cheeks before focusing her sight to her own Pocari Sweat, trying to open the bottle.

Sooyoung was still looking blankly at her as her thoughts continued to speak up.

A sharp pain shot to her heart.

The younger girl never once lied to her. The only thing she had ever hidden from Sooyoung was the fact that she loves her. Yoona trusted Sooyoung so much. She thought the girl would always open herself to her as she did the same.

Yoona deserved to know. That the girl she chose to love was not as good as the image inside her mind. That Sooyoung had set the fire in their relationship. Not for the love they had, but for the affair she walked on.

Yoona deserved to know that there was someone else rummaging in Sooyoung’s heart. She deserved to know that she was not the only one. And the fact that maybe that person has beaten her place, she also deserved to know.

Yoona deserved to choose the better person who could love her as much as she loves the person, who loves only her, whose heart won’t ever be torn.  And what Sooyoung was sure and couldn’t do anything about, was however, Yoona deserved to hate her once she knew all of the lies she’d made. Yoona had every right to scream, to slap, to walk away from her.

She clenched her fists, bit her lower lip, while looking at Yoona’s direction. I have to tell her sooner or later, she thought. Better do now than later so the hurt won’t grow any larger, she thought again. So she opened her mouth.

“Yoo-“ But to be cut with the latter’s sudden idea.

“Ah, Unnie! I know something to boost your mood!” Yoona lightly said while looking at Sooyoung.