Too Much That it Hurts

WARNING

Jessica’s POV

“Come on..” She says as holding my hand after running to approach me from the parking lot.

Her touch still has its magic to make my heart moves faster than usual. I don’t remember how many times it has happened already, but every time, it’s just like the first time our skins have met. Her hand always sends shivers to every part of my body, electrically lightens me up. The warmth she shared rushing through my veins, running through my blood, increasing hotness to my chest and face.

We walk through the school corridor hand in hand quietly, simply liking the comfortable silence. The school is still almost empty, guess we’re too early to come. There are only two or three other students whom we have seen along the way.

I’d be lying if I say I don’t enjoy this moment. I love this, more than any moments we had had. I love how she is beside me as my only company. I love how our hand intertwined, as like how her heart forces mine to linger around. I love how I can be able to feel her breath and heart-beat, because there is no other I can and want to listen in this silence except them. I love how my heart flutters just by a slight of her touch. I love how my breath hitches just by a sight of her smile. I love how the times fly when we are alone and-

No.

My daydream gets disturbed by a sight of two figures of students not far from us. I quickly let go Sooyoung hand, which make her turns at me confusedly. I just look somewhere else away. I know that I make it on time when I glance at those figures again a second after and find them turning to us. The younger girl runs happily approaching my Sooyoung. Sorry, Sooyoung. That girl then wraps her in a tight hug before pulling off and giving her a kiss on cheek.

“I miss you.” She says with her arms still linger around Sooyoung’s neck.

“W-we just met yesterday, Yoong..” Sooyoung responds awkwardly.

I glance and see Yoona pouts and crosses her arms in front of her chest. “Fine, you don’t miss me.” She looks away angrily.

“Hey, that’s not what I mean.” Sooyoung tries to console her.

I hate that.

I hate how I have to see her doing something for other person’s happiness and it’s not me. I hate how she makes me feel small like I’m nobody to her, even if I really am. I hate how I have to admit that another person have her heart filled. And I hate to realize that maybe I have no chance to win. To win her.

“Forgive me?” Sooyoung leans her face in front of Yoona to gets her attention. “Baby Im.”

Baby.

How nice it is to be called like that, Yoona? I wish she can call me that too, without worrying that some people might hear, without worrying that YOU might hear.

My heart is crushing into pieces inside, but I try to put back them by myself. I feel glad how I’m the only one who can hear that sound of breaking heart. I don’t want Sooyoung to know that. To know how weak I am. Because I don’t want her to give up on me. Because I don’t want to give up on her either.

Yoona turns her face back to look at Sooyoung, still pouting. She raises her pinky finger in front of Sooyoung’s face. As Sooyoung welcomes and ties their finger with a charming smile on the face, Yoona’s pout slowly turns to shy smile.

Tears start to pool inside my eyes seeing the scene, so I choose to look away more. A great pain hammers my heart repeatedly already. I hold the pain not to grow larger. I should thank Taeyeon because after that she chooses to cut the couple’s moment.