Story of Randomness 2 (COMPLETED)

Letter

I have decided that to help myself recognize and understand all of my feelings, I am going to write them down in a letter addressed to Michael. You don't have to read this. It's just going to be me expressing my feelings.

Also, I think if you are going to read this all the way through, you should listen to Let Her Go by Passenger while you are reading. I think it suits this letter.

Michael,

First of all, I want you to know that I really like you and I care a lot about you. You mean the world to me and I'm not entirely sure what I would do if we'd never met. Part of the reason I wake up every morning is so I can go to school and see your bright, smiling face. No matter if you are calling me short or laughing about something we said back in sixth grade, you always seem to put a smile on my face. I thank you for that.

Even though you make me smile, you've also made me cry. I cried when you ignored me last year for a day. It hurt not talking to you. I felt like something had been pushed between us, making us distant. I cried when I saw you with Emily. And that's the main reason I'm writing this letter to you.

I felt like our relationship was nearly perfect last year. We were closer than we'd ever been and I was happy to finally feel included in your big group of friends. Then summer came and gone and now we've started high school.

They all say things change in high school. That some friendships break, while some become strong. Some relationships become more serious. In these last few weeks, things have changed a lot between us.

I didn't even know Emily existed until this year. I didn't even know you knew her. And then suddenly she pops up.

I feel like she's driving a wedge between us. You've been spending more time talking to her than me lately. Yeah, I've noticed. At school. At the homecoming dance.

I just want you to know that if you like Emily, you should go for it. You never know if you'll have another chance. Even though I don't like seeing you with someone else, I know I can't keep you from being with someone. It may hurt, but I'll learn to deal with the pain. I'll live.

And who knows? Maybe you'll realize she's not the one just like your other ex-girlfriends. Maybe you'll realize that you love her and you'll grow up and get married. Again, who knows? But whatever happens, I'll always be here for you.

I want to always be by your side, whether you love me or not. I'll always support your decisions, even if they cause me pain. Because I'm willing to accept that everyone that I like won't always like me back. And that's okay.

But even if we're only meant to be friends, I want you to know that I'll always love you. I know the word "love" may throw you off, but I feel "like" is too weak for the way I feel about you. I have strong feelings for you. I always have and I always will.

I'm not going to let you go because of one person. Our friendship won't be sacrificed because of one person. So, no matter who you end up with, always keep me in your heart. I want to maintain our friendship if we don't become more than friends. If we do, so be it. That would make me extremely happy. But I also know that God's got this and he will let me know who I'm supposed to end up with. Whether it be you or someone I meet later on.

No matter what happens, I'll always love you.

No matter what happens, you'll always be my best friend.

Love,
Hayley

So wow! That was super long and super intense!

Sooooo...

Just curious...

I want you guys to comment here if you read through that whole thing. And I don't mean skim read. I mean, you literally read through it word for word and took something out of it. Go ahead and comment!

Even if you didn't, I won't be mad. I understand if you don't want to read about my feelings. Sometimes feelings make me uncomfortable. I'm honestly surprised I was able to publish this without having second thoughts.

Please let me know what you think of my letter to Michael. It may seem a bit cliche, but it's how I really feel, and I'm a cliche person anyway. 😂

I love you all and thanks to all of you who've supported #mickley through all of our ups and downs!