Pay Attention To Me [DISCONTINUED]

[14] Pretty Parental

(M/N) stood before the door separating him from his eldest mentor, struggling to find words before he actually needed to speak them. How would he explain what happened to Jin? How would he describe how it made him feel, when he isn't even aware of what he feels?

Would Seokjin understand?

(M/N) turned his head to see Jimin peeking his head out of the other room, mentally cheering him on. The older raised his small fist and made a motion as if he were knocking on an invisible door, trying to spur his trainee along.
(M/N) sighed in distress, making a face to Jimin that said 'I can't do this!'

Before much else could happen, the door (M/N) stood in front of opened, revealing the taller male. Jimin ducked into the room and the youngest turned to look up slightly, smiling sheepishly to the oldest.

"(M/N)?"

"Ah- Hyung, can I talk to you..?"

-------

(M/N) hadn't really been in the hyung line's room much since he arrived at the dorm. It wasn't his to poke around in anyway, and he hadn't had any reason to be in until now.

It had a similar layout to the other bedroom, except you could really tell who's bunk was who's based on elimination.
It was obvious which bed belonged to Rapmon, as it was decorated with Ryan merch.
J-hope's bed was made sloppily, and the half empty bottle of a familiar sports drink brand lay in the middle of it.
(M/N) had seen Yoongi laying in the same bed he now sat on to talk to Jin, so that must mean that the one above him belonged to the eldest member.

The aforementioned idol cleared his throat slightly, and (M/N)'s curious eyes were turned back to the male he intended to ask for advice.

"Is everything alright? You look pretty out of it," Jin mentioned. He sat down next to the boy, scanning his features for answers.

"N.. No, no nothing's wrong, nothing happened," (M/N) stumbled over himself trying to reassure the man that he was okay. He closed his mouth quickly and looked down, finding the hem of his shirt between his nervous fingers.

"Actually," he started slowly, "something did happen."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jin brought a hand to (M/N)'s back comfortingly, letting the frazzled boy know he was there. A slight nod was offered in response.

"While Yoongi-hyung and I were at dinner, one of my friends from my trainee division came by to say hello..." (M/N) glanced up at his mentor, who brought his hand away and began listening intently.

"I was really happy to see Youngmin-hyung, and I guess I made Yoongi-hyung upset... We went to the recording studio and-" (M/N) furrowed his brow, struggling to phrase his next sentence carefully without getting his hyung into trouble.

"Well.. he kissed me," the trainee put simply, cocking his head as he thought about it more in depth.

"And I guess I kissed him back, a little, but I was really confused and I needed to think about it more, but now that I have I'm even more confused, and-"

"(M/N)," Jin interrupted, stopping the boy before he began to panic as he rambled on. The younger male looked up at Jin, his eyes slightly watery.

"I don't know what to do, hyung," (M/N) said quietly, his voice wavering.

Jin placed a palm on (M/N)'s knee, looking him in the eye.
"(M/N), everything's alright. Thank you for trusting me enough to let me know. Can I ask you some questions?"

(M/N) nodded again.

"Okay. Did Suga come home with you?"

"No.. I left the studio before him.. I'm sorry," (M/N) said guiltily.

"That's okay.. he'll probably come home soon on his own, don't worry." The idol patted (M/N)'s knee reassuringly.

"About Suga... Do you like him?"

"Um.. I do, as much as I like you all."

"This friend. Do you like him? A little more than a friend?"

(M/N) was taken aback slightly.
"No..? He's a childhood friend of mine," he clarified. Jin nodded in understanding.

"Um, the kiss, did you dislike it a lot? Did it gross you out? Did it make you feel wrong?"

(M/N) shook his head, his eyes cast downward once again.

It was silent for a moment as the mentor found courage to ask his next question.

"...Did you enjoy it?"

(M/N) froze and tensed up imperceptibly.

Did he enjoy the kiss?

Maybe that's what confused him so much.

He did, but-

"I... I'm confused because... I liked the kiss. But I don't feel any differently for Yoongi-hyung than I do for any of the other members..." his brow was furrowing again in uncertainty. He looked up to Jin for guidance, but the older male was gazing off into nothing as he thought.

"Hyung?"

Jin blinked and his eyes refocused on the person in front of him.
"Ah, can you explain how exactly.. you feel about us?" It was the mentor's turn to furrow his brows in confusion.

Or... was it anticipation?

(M/N) opened his mouth to reply, but closed it once again and let his eyes wander from Jin as he pondered that question for himself.

"I don't... know," (M/N) said carefully. He saw from the corner of his eye as Jin slumped over slightly like his muscles had been tense, a sigh escaping his lungs.

"That's okay," Jin assured patiently, his hand retracting from (M/N)'s knee.

"In any case, I'm sure Suga isn't back yet because he's feeling guilty. I think you should call him and tell him what you've told me," he suggested.