Okay, please allow me to vent to you guys for a second. I am working on the next part but I've had so much strew lately with my boyfriend, work, family & basically existence I've had a unbearable amount of pressure on my chest I've been suffocating.
For one, my boyfriend has been putting me through a roller coaster of emotions I get dizzy even thinking about it. For one, I really like this guy unlike my last boyfriend. We work together & see each other pretty much every single day & I stay at his house a lot. The last time I was over we had a deep conversation. He kept asking me what was wrong even though I was actually really happy & wasn't upset, he said he could tell something was bothering me because he could see it in my eyes. I hate spilling my problems on other people & don't really like talking about them. I was being stubborn & kept saying "I'm fine" "don't worry" but he wouldn't let it go & ended up a little frustrated with me but not mad. I could tell he was frustrated but didn't want to push me away anymore & was really trying to be supportive. I ended up telling him some of the things bothering me. He said nothing would ever come between us & he loves me so so much. I want to believe him but all things come to a end & I hate the fact that's true but that's just it. At work he will seem really cranky some times but sneak a kiss in every now & then & call me cute names. But I feel he's distancing himself. Like the last 3 days I've asked him if he wanted to hang out after work. The first day he was going to play soccer, yesterday he was too tired & there was a huge festival that ran right in front of our restaurant so we were going to be reallllllly busy today which we were. I asked him tonight because yesterday he said we would but he said he was tired & I got kind if mad & was like "get some sleep & just tell me when you aren't too tired to hang out." He said "it's not like I'm going to die, it's okay. I'll text you later." SO NOW IM SO CONFUSED & MAD BUT WANT TO SEE & HOLD & KISS HIM. It pisses me off. Ugh. What do you guys think??
