This is how I disappear.

Chapter 51

***(FRANKS P.O.V)*** p.s get some tissues :(

"Here" Gerard says nastily, his voice deep and angry, piercing my heart instantly "See how you fucking like it!" He shouts.

That's it. My heart shatters instantly, like it had been ripped out from my chest and he had burst it with his own bare hands.

I whimpered as I froze and stood there staring at the back of his head as he stumbled out of the café.

Tears rolled fearlessly down my cheeks as I flopped back down on the chair, my legs giving up, my heart beating out my chest, my hands shaky and sweaty, my breathing hardly there and my whole body shaking.

I looked down at the table, my cold coffee in and the white piece of paper folded up in front of me. I moved the plastic coffee cup away from me and my eyes burned into the paper, debating whether to read it or not.

I finally took my shaky hand and brought the paper closer to me, slowly infolding it to show scribbly, smudged and shaky handwriting similar to the one I left Gerard when I went missing.

My heart broke as my eyes scanned across the paper and onto the first line.

'To Frank,

All I want is nothing more, than to hear you knocking at my door.

Cause if I could see your face once more, I could die a happy man, I'm sure.

When you said your last goodbye, I died a little bit inside.

I lay in tears in bed all night, alone without you by my side.

But if loved me, why did you leave me?

Take my body.'

My heart pumped inside my chest like a drum getting faster and faster, I swallowed the massive lump in my throat as the tears blurred my vision and ran down my face furiously. 

I blinked to clear my eyesight, but I was no good. I couldn't breath and It felt like someone had their hands around my neck, squeezing tighter and tighter choking me even more. 

I sat up straight and tried to read the rest of it.

'Cause you brought out the best of me, a part of me id never seen.

You took my soul and wiped it clean, Our love was made for movie screens.

But if you loved me, why did you leave me?

Take my body.'

And that was it. That was all he wrote.

I couldn't think straight, even if I wanted to. My head was spinning and it felt like my heart was going to burst into a thousand pieces, I felt like I was going to pass out.

Gerard wrote this for me and my heart physically hurt. 

I buried my face in my arms and sobbed, I cried my heart out. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore, tears soaked my hoodie and my eyes burned like hell, my whole body felt weak. To think that Gerard hurt this bad, made it even worse. To think that Gerard felt remotely the same pain as I did right now or even worse for five years, it felt like a bullet to the heart.

I sat there for hours. I finally picked my head up to see the dark sky in front of me and the café nearly empty. I looked at my phone, pushing it away, I couldn't give a shit if I had missed calls or texts, I looked at the paper in my hands. The soggy, tear soaked piece of paper in my hands. 

My cold coffee was gone from the table and there I sat, heartbroken, completely and utterly heartbroken.

I looked at the clock on the wall opposite me, 7:32PM. I was late for my show and the guys are going to be so fucking annoyed when I finally get there. But I had no choice, I was going to have to go on that stage and play my guitar with all the energy and emotion that I had in my body.