saudade ♣︎ multi fandom gif imagines

"over soon"

title: "over soon"
pov: 2nd
location: old neighborhoods and alexandria

• • •

Not even a week ago you remembered the conversation you had with Carol about leaving. She didn't feel safe or comfortable around the group anymore because of the amount of killing she was having to do. Killing walkers wasn't the problem, but when it came to killing people, she felt like she was going to vomit from the guilt.

She had come to you for last second advice before leaving. It was late and you were on the porch of your house when you saw her walk by with a full backpack and pistol in her hand. You had waved her down, quietly since everybody was asleep, and received an apologetic smile in return.

You knew she hadn't been feeling great about what was happening lately. It was always sewn onto her face. Even you couldn't lie, the amount of blood shed onto your streets was too much. Even just a simple scrape or scratch was too much blood to be shed.

When Carol made her way to your porch and sat down in the rocking chair next to yours, she began to cry. You cried too as you knew she was leaving before she had to say it. She was a big figure in your life, and always had been since the beginning. She had lost her own daughter, and when you were introduced to the group you found comfort in her motherly instincts and care for you. She had become the mother you always needed, and it broke your heart when she told you she had to go.

She had then reorganized her pack onto her back and said her last words that you always remembered. "I pray for the youngest generations of the group. I continuously pray for you, and Carl, and Ron, and all of the children inside of these walls because you're all being raised into a world where killing men and women is seen as okay if you're threatened by them. Rarely do we ever think of them, or their families... Never should it be acceptable to kill another man. I pray for you and that one day you'll get to experience the world like it once was. I pray that this will all be over soon."

She never said exactly where she was going, just that she was leaving that night. You promised not to tell anyone if you figured out where she was headed to. It's not like you knew anyways. She never told anyone. It burned under your skin and made you itch constantly knowing she was alone and headed somewhere unknown. You had no idea if she was a mile away or a hundred miles away. It had been three weeks since she left, and you felt like you needed to protect her.

You'd been outside the walls a couple of times on your own and thought to have seen her or some type of clue. So many that you were convinced she hadn't gone far. It had taken you hours of multiple days to go through neighborhoods and search the houses of the woman or extra supplies. Most of the time you went alone, others occasionally tagged along but the lack of supplies gained from you usually made them stay behind. Scavenging wasn't your main priority. Finding Carol was.

It was a Wednesday of the fourth week already. You had taken a car to one of the furthest neighborhoods you could think of from Alexandria. You got up early in the morning, taking a pistol and a car to get there. It was warm with a slight chill laced into the wind and you didn't like it.

The neighborhood was the same as the others, abandoned and trashed by years of chaos. Most of the houses were dressed in broken windows and open doors, dented garage doors and furniture in the front yard. The neighborhood had been gutted from the inside out. There was one house you passed that had it's doors still closed and your heart jumped at the thought of Carol. You raced towards it, stopping to pull out the pistol before you slowly opened the door. After rummaging around, there was no sign of life living in it. It smelled of mildew and dust and there were clearly animals living inside.

You went around until the sun had passed over your head. You were sweating from the amount of work it took to go through the houses and still protect yourself. There was nothing.

Your eyes watered as you gave up, sighing and walking towards the car that had carried you here. It was quiet now.

A cream of a door snapped your attention towards one of the houses. It was one you'd checked but was locked somehow. You couldn't get in.

You caught sight of the last of a boot as it entered the house, and you swore it was Carols.

"Carol!" You yelled, not caring if you dragged walkers out. "Carol!"

The door slowly opened, and Carol herself walked backwards out. Her face contorted and she immediately began to cry at the sight of the broken girl calling her name.

"Carol..." you cried out before you took a step towards her.

She put her hand out, telling you to stop. "Please, (y/n), please go home."

A tear slipped from your eye and you took another step forward. Carol told you to stop. You wouldn't. You longed to touch her, to feel her motherly hands and safe feel. She wouldn't let you come closer but you were determined to.

"Turn back and go home, (y/n)."

"Please Carol, come back with me," you pleaded and took another step, but you stopped abruptly and threw your hands up when Carol pulled a gun on you.

It was clear in her face she wasn't going to pull the trigger. She loved you as much as you loved her. Still you obeyed and walked backwards, tears covered your cheeks. Carol continued to point the gun in your direction, even after you were a good distance away and had turned your back. You reached the car, but once you got in you couldn't start it from the amount of pain you felt in your chest.

Carol wasn't going to come back.