Achromatic

Chapter Twenty Three

The rumble of the taxi's motor vibrated through Murdoc's body as the vehicle smoothly made its way through the desolate outskirts of London. 

It was late afternoon, just an hour after he had checked out of his motel room, and his restlessness made him feel as if it had happened days ago. There was a hostile-like feeling that ran through him, mostly from the small size of the cab and the occasional eye contact he would make with the driver in front of him. If there were two things that Murdoc was the most afraid of, they were eyes and moving vehicles.

"212," the taxi driver said. 

Murdoc lifted his head from the back of his seat. His stomach immediately curled at the sight of the flat's front door. His front door. This was his home, but it looked so much more dead and dark compared to before. He remained seated in the taxi, just staring up at the flat until the driver cleared his throat.

"You sure this is the right place?" he asked irritably. "Unless you want to pay more than £40." 

Murdoc glanced at the driver, shaking his head. "It's the right place."

He reached into his pocket, taking out a pile of crumpled pounds and handing them to the driver. "And good day to you."

Murdoc grabbed his the rest of his belongings, exited the taxi and watched it drive away until it was shrouded in fog.

He looked up at the sky, breathing in the familiar air, tainted by familiar paper mill fumes and the rain of early spring. It was all too dreamlike, no matter how hard Murdoc tried to make the environment real.

How long had it been? Where was he? Where was his mind? 

This was his home, yet Murdoc was completely lost. 

He walked towards the front steps, feeling as if he were moving in slow motion. He felt his hands and legs start to shake as he approached the door, which seemed to drift away as he reached for the handle. The exact moment Murdoc's fingertips grazed the cold piece of metal, he stopped mid-motion.

There was still a chance to turn back, to forget about them and leave forever. This was just the same as all the other times Murdoc decided to leave because he knew he would eventually return to them again. It would be that bittersweet moment of reunion, seeing faces he had not seen in years, forgetting why they had split years before.

But this time, there would be one less familiar face to see. One less reason to return to the place he hoped he would never see again.

Murdoc softly knocked on the door. He waited, quivering as he stood in the cold rain. The door loomed over him, making him feel as if he was shrinking on the spot. Murdoc clutched at his chest when the doorknob began to turn. 

When the door opened, Murdoc nearly did not recognize Noodle's face. She looked very different, almost younger than the night he had left. She gawked at him as if she were looking at a ghost.

  "You came back," Noodle said.

 "Yeah...I'm back," Murdoc answered. "And I'm sorry."

Murdoc expected her to shut the door in his face, or at least back away from him from fear. But instead, Noodle burst into tears and ran to hug him. Murdoc remained still with shock as she held him close, trembling both of them with her sobs.

"Where were you? We looked everywhere," Noodle cried, as her voice was muffled by Murdoc's jacket. 

"Noodle..." Murdoc uttered. "I'm so sorry-"

"Muds?"

Murdoc looked up, seeing Russel approach the door entryway, his mouth agape with uncertainty. He too stared at Murdoc like a ghost. He tried to say something, yet no sound escaped from his lips. The barrier between the two of them still had not been broken, and each passing second only made it stronger.