Achromatic

Chapter Twenty Five

Although he had defeated the shadow that had been haunting him since 2D's death, Murdoc's mind was still scarred. He was still having nightmares. His flashbacks were beginning to grow fuzzy. There were days when Murdoc could hardly remember what 2D's face had looked like-and days where he would not even think about 2D unless Russel or Noodle mentioned his name.

"I found one of 2D's melodicas...It's so dusty."

"Murdoc, I found this jacket in the living room-it looks just like the one 2D used to wear."

"I wonder how 2D's parents are doing...we haven't met for a few months now..."

The mention of 2D always came like a small shock to Murdoc, sending a wave of grief through him as soon as he remembered that day. It was a sort of repression that pushed nearly every memory of 2D in the back of his head like a locked vault. But with every time that 2D came through his mind, the shocks were weaker and smaller, making it easier for Murdoc to forget.

But there was one place that Murdoc could never go again to forget, to take refuge, or to isolate himself. And that was 2D's bedroom. 

Every time he climbed the stairs to his own bedroom, he would look at the next flight of stairs that led to the top floor. Beyond where he stood, the stairs turned into a patch of total darkness, with no sign of light or life. Murdoc looked up at the darkness every day, remembering the room he locked himself in for months on end, only leaving for food and using the toilet. All of his hangovers, all the nightmares, all of his days that he thought would spend the rest of his life...

Every day Murdoc looked up at the darkness, telling himself he would never go back. But one day, it took ahold of him. 

Murdoc put one foot on the first stair, followed by the other. He did the same with the second step. Right foot, left foot. The third stair. The fourth, the fifth. Murdoc did not hesitate for a moment, not even to turn back.

Once he had reached the last step, space around Murdoc immediately grew cold, sending a bitter chill through his body. The light on the ceiling was burnt out, a layer of dust lined the floor, and the bedroom's door handle was covered with cobwebs. Murdoc stood above the stairs, staring at the handle as his body grew number to the cold around him. A certain blackness started to envelop Murdoc's body, sending sudden flash floods of memories he was trying to forget. 

He firmly leaned against the wall, hitting it with a small thump. Murdoc's heart began to pound against his chest, faster and faster with each passing second. Every image of 2D that Murdoc had tried to repress in his mind came back to him, all at once. He felt as if he was stuck to the wall, and would never be let go. Murdoc looked at the door handle, fighting a stream of tears in his eyes. He closed them tightly, only to see 2D's face once more.

"Stop it..." Murdoc uttered.  "I can't do this now."

Murdoc tore himself from the wall, slightly losing his balance near the top of the stairs. He blindly reached for the stair railing, collapsing under his own weight. Clutching at his chest with one hand while his knuckles on the other grew white around the railing, he slowly began to descend the stairs. As he regained his stability, he took in deep breaths while the room temperature suddenly began to rise. Murdoc leaned against another wall, letting the warmth grow in his body. 

He was so distraught, he did not notice the creak of footsteps coming from the stairs below him. 

"Murdoc? Are you up here?"

Noodle reached the floor to find Murdoc still leaned against the wall. She eyed him, unsure if something was wrong or not.

"Is...everything okay?" she inquired.