Kalopsia // Fillie

Chapter t e n

  ♥ ten ♥

  ღ pick up the pieces ღ

I shiver as the wheelchair assist lowers me into the pool. It's not like the water's cold, they keep it pretty warm, but it was more unexpected. I'm starting physical therapy today, which means I'm basically relearning to walk. Kinda embarrassing if you ask me.

"Alright Millie, feel free to make your way over in whatever way you see fit," My trainer, Shannon, says.

Nodding, I chew on my lip and gingerly slip out of the seat, the water rising up to my collar bones. My legs ache from the sudden movement and I cringe, garnering a worried look from Shannon.

"Everything okay?"

"Yup," I pant while swirling the clear water with my hand. "I'm feeling eleven out of ten."

Shannon smirks at that and gives me a playful thumbs up. When the hospital personnel were helping me put on my swimsuit, they had to numb up my legs so I didn't get hurt in the process. Now, they just tingle lightly.

"Alright, first, try standing straight in the water and twisting with your arms out at your sides."

Wiping a wet strand of hair out of my eyes, I scrunch up my nose and place my feet timidly on the bottom of the pool, causing a sharp pain to run up both my calves.

"Easy, easy," Shannon reminds me as she takes a step closer.

I gulp and shake my head, my short bob clinging to my skin. You can do this Millie, focus, you want to get better, right? The bright fluorescent lights overhead shine harshly on the water, resulting in a shimmering glare around me. Spreading my arms out, I twist side to side slowly, feeling my muscles burn from the movement. I pick up momentum as I go, and quickly forget about the hurting of my legs.

"Good job Millie! I only have thirty minutes with you, so for the last five let's just try to walk around the pool." 
She approaches me slowly and grabs my hand, helping me around.

"So, Nurse Tessa told me you have a thing for Finn Wolfhard, your roommate."

I gasp and lose my balance.

"Woah, steady."

"She told you?!"

I can't believe it! She told me she wouldn't tell anyone!

"I asked, my job gets pretty boring when I'm not doing any physical therapy, so I always get the down-low on which patients to ship, and you two are currently at the top of my OTP list."

Shannon gives me a half smile and winks, and the absurdity of it all makes me chuckle.

"That's better," she laughs and hooks her arm around mine.

"Ready to get out?"

"Sure." 
••
As soon as I got back to me & Finn's room, Nurse Tessa helped me change into a fresh hospital gown. I asked her to wheel me into the bathroom, and it's where I've been ever since. I can't stop staring at my reflection. I look....terrible, and terrible is an understatement. I haven't seen myself in three weeks, but it hadn't really mattered until now. Finn made me feel beautiful, little did I know I've looked the opposite this whole time. My left temple is bruised and underneath it, my eyebrow has a cut in the process of healing. My eyes look hollow and dull, unlike Finn's, which always look full of life. Tears begin to run down my face and my chin, then drip into my hands. I watch them meld together and puddle, starting to cry harder. No wonder Finn doesn't like you Millie, you're ugly! You're awful, he's just been pitying you this whole time! Covering my face with my thin, shaky hands, a small sob escapes my chapped lips and bounces around the tiny bathroom. It's floral wallpaper appears to be drooping along with my mood. My still damp hair clings to my face and tickles my fingers. You'll never be beautiful Millie, and you never were. I jump as a pounding sounds at the door behind me, and wince as a jolt runs up my trembling legs, which should be impossible because I'm sitting in a stupid wheelchair and stuck in a freaking hospital.

"Millie!" Finn calls through the door, sounding warped and far away.

I don't even hear him come in, but yet he stands in front of me, hands wrapped around my shoulders.

"Are you okay? Did something happen? What's wrong?"

His chocolate brown eyes appear so earnest, but no one cares about me. My mom said it herself on the day she left. Finn walks around me and steers me through the doorframe and to my bed, the only sounds being my whimpers and the squeaking of the wheels beneath me.
He slips his arms around my waist, but this time I feel nothing. No rush, no heat in my cheeks. I feel numb. Then I'm on my bed, and he's covering me with a blanket and sitting beside me, pulling his shiny air-tank up with him. I can't make myself look at Finn, even though I can tell he's looking at me. Instead, I glance around the room, and the pastel pink walls don't look cheery anymore.

"Millie," Finn says softly, trying to get my attention.

I let my gaze linger on my hands. They appear blue and purple, and cold. Very cold. Finn must've noticed because he takes both of my hands in his and repeats my name, sounding desperate this time. I flick my eyes up to his, and my lip begins to quiver because I know exactly what's going to happen, and it won't be good. "Why were you crying?" He asks, his voice thick with worry.

My breathing hiccups and I lower my head, covering my mouth with my hand. It hasn't stopped shaking since I've gotten back. He pulls my free hand closer to him, and suddenly I feel angry.

"Because I'm ugly Finn!" I spit. "Because you made me feel beautiful when I'm not! I was crying because you'll never like me back! I like you so much, and you just don't feel the same. You're literally the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I'm hideous!" I yell at him, the weight of keeping it in rising off my chest.

Finn blinks at me, and the realization of what I just said makes me recoil. I admitted I liked him in the worst way ever. Starting to turn away, I'm forced to stop when I feel his hands cup my face. He leans closer and rests his forehead against mine, and I can no longer breathe. Finn wipes away a stray tear with his thumb, but all I can focus on his his warm breath tingling my nose and upper lip. At this proximity I can see every single one of his freckles, every ring in his irises, every subtle movement of his eyelashes. His fingertips urge me closer, and I allow them. I don't have any time to think, and I don't want to. I want to lose myself in this moment, forever. Finn licks his lips slowly, looking as nervous as I feel, and presses them carefully into mine. My heart pounds in my ears and leaps up into my throat. His lips are soft and taste like mint. I press mine harder against his, and his nose tube brushes my nose and cheek. Goosebumps rise on my arms as I wrap them around his neck. Finn pulls away slightly, but let's his lips linger. He pants heavily for a moment, a smile crawling up his face.

"For the record, I like you too Mills, and you're the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on." 

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Still my absolute favorite chapter :,)

~K