I Told You, I'm A Monster

Chapter Nine

Seokjin hurriedly dials Yoongi and starts talking the second he picks up. "Yoongi, oh my God, I can't do this. I can't fucking do this."

"Whoa, hyung, calm down. I just woke up." Yoongi's voice is heavy with sleep, and Seokjin takes a deep breath before he tries again.

"I can't do this."

"Can't do what?"

"My job. I can't do it."

"Don't be dramatic, hyung. You can do your job. What happened? And have you seen Jungkook yet?"

"No. I'm actually supposed to be with him right now, believe it or not. But I just talked with Namjoon, and he told me about the catalyst that started him down his path. It's worse than I thought." He quickly gives a summary of what Namjoon told him, and then he leaves the bathroom and pretends to be on a very important business call as he makes his way to where the charts are kept so he can drop off Namjoon's and pick up Jungkook's.

"Wh-what?!" Yoongi sounds fully awake now. "Holy shit."

"I can't do this, Yoongi-yah. And how am I supposed to face Jungkook after seeing Namjoon?"

There's a pause, and Yoongi takes a few deep breaths before speaking. "Hyung, I know that was a huge fucking bomb to be dropped on you. But you have to work through it. You can't afford to have a breakdown, not after what happened last time."

"But Yoongi--"

"I'm sorry for interrupting, but no buts. You need to at least try to get on with your day. Think about Jungkook. Focus on him. Think about how happy he'll be to see you again, and cling to that like a... life raft thing if you have to. Just think about the immediate next thing you have to do, and when that thing is done, do the same with the next thing. Now you have a patient to go see, and I have a date with the coffeemaker. I'll talk to you later, hyung."

"Okay. You're right. I'll try that. Thank you, Yoongi."

"You're welcome, hyung."

Seokjin ends the call and puts his phone slowly back into his pocket as he flips open Jungkook's chart and prepares for the worst.

Full Name: Jeon Jungkook
Date of birth: September 1, 1997
Height: 178 cm (5'10")
Weight: 66 kg (145 lbs)
Blood Type: A
Birthplace: Busan, South Korea
Eye color: Brown
Natural hair color: Black

Just like Seokjin did with Namjoon's chart, he skims over the pages about Jungkook's background and medical history before coming to the page about his diagnoses and treatments.

Diagnosis: Borderline Personality Disorder
Treatment: Prescription medications and extensive therapy.

Diagnosis: Nymphomaniac Tendencies.
Treatment: Not Applicable.

Important To Note: Jeon Jungkook also experiences a lack of the capability to differentiate between right and wrong.
Treatment: Antidepressants.

Seokjin reads on about the different medications and therapies that had been tried. The last round Jungkook was on had seemed to be working, but it made him despondent and unmotivated. "That's why he stopped taking them," Seokjin mutters to himself as he closes the chart and goes to Jungkook's room. He looks in for a moment and sees him sitting in a wheelchair, looking out the window with a somewhat peaceful look gracing his features.

He follows Jungkook's gaze and sees that his window overlooks a tree with a bird's nest in it, and a couple of sparrows are fussing over it, adding twigs and bits of fluff to it to surround three small eggs. He watches for a moment longer before knocking on the door and entering it cautiously. "Hi, Jungkook-ah."

"I told the other doctor, I don't want-- OH! Jin-hyung!" Jungkook's eyes open wide as a wide smile threatens to split his face in half. "I didn't know you worked here!"

"Yeah, I just started a few days ago. You're on my rotation of patients to see this week."

"Well I'm glad it worked out that way." Jungkook's smile is infectious, and Seokjin finds himself smiling as well. "I haven't seen you since..."

"I know." Seokjin's smile remains on his face as he sits down in the worn-down metal chair next to the worn-down metal desk. "I read your chart, and I think I know why you stopped taking your medications. Can you tell me why you decided to play in traffic?"

"Yeah. When I was on my medications, I felt like I was trapped inside myself and in my mind. Like I was wrapped in a huge, thick blanket and then locked in a cage. When they worked out of my system, I wanted to do something to prove that I was still me. I was sitting and watching the traffic go by outside my apartment window, and that's when I got the idea. I wanted to feel free."

"And now you're in a wheelchair." Seokjin murmurs in spite of himself. "Do you really think playing in traffic was the best idea?"

"Well, I'm stuck in this thing until I heal and I'm being put back on medications, so in that respect, no. But on the bright side, I get to see you and Jimin-hyung." Jungkook's eyes widen as he realizes what he said, and he hopes Seokjin didn't catch it.

"As in Park Jimin?" Seokjin looks up from where his head was bent over his notes. "I heard he's a patient here, but I haven't met him yet."

"Yeah, we knew each other in grade school." Jungkook hopes and prays to some unseen higher power that Seokjin doesn't decide to look into it.

"Ah, I see. So it'll be nice to reconnect with him." He says half-distractedly as he jots down a few more things and looks back up at his patient. "I will make sure you're on different medications this time, if only to make sure you stay out of traffic." He winks as he flips Jungkook's chart closed. "I'm glad you weren't hurt worse. When Yoongi told me what happened, I was really worried."

Jungkook blushes at the mention of Yoongi's name but doesn't address it further. "Thank you, hyung- err, I guess I should call you Dr. Kim."

"You can call me whatever makes you comfortable. I think it would be just about as weird for me to hear you call me Dr. Kim as it would be for you to address me as such."

"I think you're probably right, Jin-hyung." The two men exchange a short laugh before Jungkook grows serious again. "So, have you seen that patient Namjoon yet? What's he like?"

"I'm not allowed to discuss technicalities, but I'm taking him on as only my patient."

"Can you, um-" Jungkook fidgets. "Can you do the same for me, hyung?"

"Absolutely. The goal is to not keep you in here for too long, and if that means me being your only doctor, then I'll gladly do it."

"Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me." There's a knock on the door then, and a young nurse unlocks it and pokes her head in.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but Mr. Jeon, it's time for lunch. Would you like for me to take you to the cafeteria?"

"I can do it. Thank you."

"Okay, Dr. Kim." The nurse smiles as she quietly closes the door.

"That seemed short," says Jungkook.

"It was. I was supposed to be here at the start of the hour, but I had a phone call to make." Even though he's known Jungkook for years, Seokjin doesn't want to appear weak in front of a patient, and he can't reveal any information about Namjoon.

"Oh, well, hopefully that's not the case tomorrow, hyung!" Jungkook smiles cheekily.

"I'm sure it won't be." With that, Seokjin stands and holds Jungkook's chart under one arm so he can open the door and wheel Jungkook out into the hallway and to the cafeteria.

With the secrets they're both keeping, though, can their doctor-patient relationship really be as close as they obviously both want it to be?