I Told You, I'm A Monster

Chapter Fourteen

Seokjin had been doing his best to avoid Taehyung, but one morning right before he meets with Namjoon, they arrive at the break room at about the same time. Seokjin doesn't immediately leave, though, because he feels like Taehyung is the only one who can help him with his own problem. That problem is the feelings he's developing for his clinically insane patient. He inhales deeply and says in somewhat of a rush "Taehyung-ah, can I talk to you about something?"

Taehyung, surprised that Seokjin is speaking to him, picks up his coffee mug and turns to face the elder. "Of course, hyung!" He motions to the table in the middle of the room and the two sit down.

Seokjin runs his fingers through his hair and huffs out a soft laugh. "I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I think I'm starting to have feelings for Namjoon." Taehyung's eyes widen as he freezes with his mug halfway to his lips, and he slowly sets it down on the table as Seokjin tells him the reasons why: His empathy for the patient, the moment they'd had the other day when Seokjin saw the human side of Namjoon, and the slight shift in the comfort level of their interactions. When he finishes speaking, there's a beat of silence before Taehyung speaks up.

"Well, if I may be frank, I think that's just the doctor in you feeling sympathy for your patient."

"No, this is different. There's something deeper that I don't know how to explain."

Taehyung leans forward slightly and lowers his voice. "Hyung, with all due respect, if I were you, I would forget those feelings. You know you can't have feelings for patients, especially in a mental hospital. It's better if you make the feelings go away. Read his chart again. Remember why you were terrified of him."

Seokjin stands abruptly from the table, a look of pure disgust on his face. "I will not dehumanize him. Good day, Taehyung." He turns quickly, sending napkins fluttering to the floor, and leaves the room.

"But, hyung, that's not what I meant!" Taehyung calls after the older doctor, but it's no use. He sighs as he finishes his coffee and stands from the table so he can get started on his work for the day.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Namjoon knows it's about time for his daily talk with Seokjin, so he runs through what he wants to say to the doctor one more time in his mind before the door opens.

"Good morning, Namjoon." Seokjin goes through his little routine of positioning the metal chair, sitting down, flipping to a fresh page in his notepad, and choosing which pen to write with, and Namjoon watches every movement with a calculated interest.

"Good morning, Dr. Kim." He returns the doctor's greeting with a small smile, which Seokjin doesn't fail to notice. Namjoon sits up on his bed and laces his fingers together in his lap. "Ah, I never thanked you for telling them I don't need a straitjacket for you to talk to me."

"You're welcome." It's Seokjin's turn to smile, and he poises his pen over his paper. "What would you like to talk about today?"

Namjoon fidgets and takes a deep breath. Seokjin studies his facial features. He seems nervous. The doctor is about to ask if something is wrong when he speaks quietly. "I had a dream about you yesterday, Dr. Kim."

Seokjin certainly had not been expecting to hear that. He blinks a few times and simply says, "I see." He waits for Namjoon to continue, and when he doesn't, Seokjin adds, "Please tell me about it." He crosses his legs and settles his notepad on his knee.

Namjoon rakes a hand through his hair. "Well, we were sitting in a library, surrounded by books about many different subjects, like philosophy and literature. Then, the books changed into file folders filled with papers. Some of the papers floated up out of the folders and were suspended in the air. There were pictures on them, crime scene photos actually." He makes a gesture with his hands and adds softly, "They showed what remained of my victims. When you saw them, you had such a look of horror on your face. You stood up from the table we were sitting at, and you disappeared into nothing. It really scared me, and I woke up covered in sweat."