Running Low {S.M}

XXXII - Try My Best

Elena.

He pulled me away, out of the venue and I tried now to trip over my heels.

"Shawn, stop that hurts," I complained.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He growled under his breath.

"Tell you what," I said, acting dumb.

"You know what. You being pregnant!"

I took a breath in, pulling my hand away from Shawn's grip. We stood there just looking at each other as he waited for what I was going to say next.

"Why would you care Shawn! You left me," I cursed.

"Because that was my baby too Lena! Did you somehow forget that!" He yelled, trying to now cause a scene.

"Yeah well didn't seem like it when I tried telling you!"

"When did you try telling me Lena? When!"

"When you left me!"

As I said that, he tense figure began to soothe. I watched him carefully as he took a deep breath in.

"How long did you know?" He asked, running one of his hands through his hair to ease him.

"Just that day."

"Why did you say something?"

"Because you already insisted on breaking up, so I thought there wasn't any point."

"You still could've told me."

"Yeah well would you have stayed? No, so don't put all this blame on me."

"Lena, if it meant raising something with you, I would've stayed and-"

"No!  Don't you dare tell me you would've stayed because I know you would've left once that baby came out!"

All of the sudden I was mad, I was taking all of my anger out on him because I knew he was just giving me pity.

"Lena."

"No Shawn! I don't want your pity that's why I didn't tell you!  I meant it when I said to get out of my life!"

"Elena please, I love you."

"I don't love you anymore Shawn."

"Don't say that."

"I mean it, you had me once, you had me another, but that was a mistake, and this is too."

"Please-"

"No, I'm done Shawn, I can't do this anymore."

"I only do this for you."

"Yeah well the only thing you could've done for me was stay, but you decided to leave, and now, you get to watch me leave."

"Elena don't."

"Goodbye Shawn."

I took a few steps back before running back into the venue. I could feel so much pressure being held upon me. I didn't know what to feel anymore.

Shawn was the one I wanted, but now I've let him go. Maybe it's for the best, but at the same time I don't know.

I'm only mad at him because he feels like he needs to pity me. Sure, he only does it because he cares, but he needs to understand that I can take care of myself.

So right now, I don't need him, at least I think.

~~~

"And the lead female singer of the year is Ms. Selena Gomez!"

The crowd roared loudly as Selena went to go accept her award.

"Hello everybody," she smiled into the microphone.

"Well first I'd just like to say thank you to everyone who voted, I love you all so much, and I don't know what I'd do without every single one of you."

"Second, I know, I should be doing a longer speech about this, but I kind of promised something to a friend of mine."

"He came to me and told me a little story, so I told him the only way to show it is well to sing it."

"So everyone, please welcome up to the stage Shawn Mendes!"

The crowd applauded, not knowing what was actually going on, but I did. I sensed it, and I knew what was going to happen.

I knew there was only two ways to get through this. First, leave and risk everything with him. Or second, stay and face him, making him know you still want him.

By the time I tried making my decision it was too late, he was already up on stage. His guitar in hand, strumming a few notes before singing:

"I'm way across the coast, awake in bed and I wonder
If I spoke, would you hear what I said?
So I take a breath and hope you can.

A feeling deep inside that no one sees
But for no one to understand
But you and me tonight
Tell me that you'll take this chance

Promise to hold you close and be there everyday
I swear I love you more no matter what you say
And if we lost it all and there was nothing we could do
Oh I'll try my best for you
Oh I'll try my best for you

Promise to hold you close and be there everyday
I swear I love you more no matter what you say
And if we lost it all and there was nothing we could do
Oh I'll try my best
Oh I'll try my best
Oh I'll try my best for you

Hold your heart to keep you close
Where ever you are just spin the globe
But we can have the time of our lives right here at home
Just breath
And follow me on down this road

Promise to hold you close and be there everyday
I swear I love you more no matter what you say
And if we lost it all and there was nothing we could do
Oh I'll try my best for you
Oh I'll try my best for you

Promise to hold you close and be there everyday
I swear I love you more no matter what you say
And if we lost it all and there was nothing we could do
Oh I'll try my best
Oh I'll try my best
Oh I'll try my best for you

Oh I'll try my best for you."

I was already in tears. His eyes laid on mine, and I knew I was wrong to stay.  He was doing it to me again.

With that, I got up from my seat, walking out again. My chest pounded, trying to process everything. I didn't want him yet I did. I don't know why it was so hard for me to make the decision.

It's either stay with him or leave him, and at this point I didn't know anymore. If I stay would things still be the same between us? Or will he leave me again?

I didn't want him to leave, but he caused me so much pain that's it's for me to trust him again.

"Elena," I heard a voice say behind me.

I didn't have to guess whose voice it was, because the truth is, I knew who it was, and I knew it was someone who I couldn't get rid of.

The person who I can't move on from and possibly will never leave.

"Shawn."

"Hey Elena," a small smiled cracked from his lip, making me aware of everything that was about to happen.

It made me aware of what I was about to do.

"You alright?"

I took a deep breath in, not knowing how much this could effect my life going forward, but I had to do it.

"I love you Shawn."