Black Rose

Twenty-Six

"We meet again Melrose." My therapist, Mrs. Beckford smiled and stepped aside, letting me in the room. "How are we doing today?" 

I shrugged, sitting in the burgundy leather chair my bottom has grown accustomed to. "I'm fine I guess. Neutral. I went to see a lawyer today about my daughter's case and it can possibly play in my favor, so I'm thrilled about that." 

"That's awesome, Melrose." She clapped lightly, showcasing her smile. "You deserve justice for Arabella and for yourself. I know life will get a little easier for you deal with, so my prayers are with you during this time." 

"Thank you." I returned a smile.

"Now, tell me, have you been having any nightmares lately?" She queried, sitting back in her chair. Dropping my head, I nodded slowly. "Tell me about them. The floor is yours."

"They're all basically the same, except we're in different settings and Bella always end up missing in the end.  Whatever this thing is, it's haunting me in my sleep. I feel like it's trying to tell me something through my dreams. Last night, we were at my old college in the auditorium. Amberly was sleeping in her stroller and Arabella was playing on the stage with her father. All of a sudden a spotlight ended up on Raine, but he didn't seem to notice. The shadow popped up next to me, telling me in so many words that I need to watch my back because some people aren't who they make themselves out to be." 

"Um, have you encountered anyone that may have had suspicious like behavior towards you lately." She queried, opening her notepad, preparing to write down what I say. 

"No. Raine is the last person I've had a fallen out with over lies and he's been dealt with already, so these dreams aren't making any sense." They had become a repetitive thing at night, causing me little to no sleep in three months. I can't even close my eyes for a minute without seeing this silhouette. Nobody is out to harm me and the people who did me wrong have already been exposed and exiled out my life, so why in the hell am I getting tormented by a freaking shadow. 

"Melrose, Melrose." Mrs. Beckford snapped her fingers at me, taking me out of my thoughts. 

"Huh? I'm sorry, what did you say?" 

She frowned, staring at me strangely. "What happened just now? You zoned out on me there. What's going through your mind?" 

"I don't have anyone who care about me. Everyone treated me badly in some sort or form and outside of my customers, I don't know anyone on a personal level. What if I'm the threat to myself."

"I think I have an idea of where you're going with this, but elaborate for me just for clarity." 

"It's just a hunch but I've been planting in my head that I've gotten better since coming here and while it's true because I have improved fairly, what if it's an illusion and I think I've healed but deep inside I'm still at the start line." 

"So, you feel like you've forced yourself to believe there isn't anything wrong with you anymore, but in reality absolutely nothing has changed." I nodded in response. "Hmm, interesting. That's like addicts, who make themselves believe they're not addicts and they don't have an illness, but I have seen a change in you Melrose. When you first came to me, you were this emotionally closed off, ill-mannered woman who cried about everything. I couldn't get you to say three words to me in the beginning, but I knew that wasn't the person you really were. It didn't take much effort to see through the facade you were putting on. You were hurt, angry, lonely, tired twice."

"Tired twice? What the hell does that mean?" I queried confusedly. 

She chuckled at my obliviousness and explained to me. "There are two types of tired. A tiredness that is in dire need of sleep and the other is in dire need of peace from the chaos. In your case you'd be in both categories. But as I was stating before, you've improved Melrose, in more ways than one. You came out of your shell and opened up to me, told me your life story without shedding one tear. You were weak before; now you're strong. That's something to be proud of, so don't doubt the work you put in to get to where you are today."