"Do you regret it Karma?" Darrian asked me when Kameron went to the bathroom. "I never even wanted to do that." I sat forward holding my eyes. My leg shook. "Just think you and I will have a future." He had a sly smile. I got up and went down to my room. I held my stomach imaging a baby growing in there. A baby I would've loved.... a baby I killed. I went to my drawer that had my razor and found some powder I left earlier. I felt my lips mumble nothingness as I straightened the substance. I bowed my head and inhaling. I held my nose falling back a little. I fell to the ground crying.
"Never have a ever got an abortion. " Greta said bringing me back to reality. My hand shook but I didn't take the shot. I could see darrian with a slow satisfied smile. "Never have I ever slept with a guy who I didn't love. " Rachel said. Rachel was my brothers girlfriend at the time. I didn't take the shot but my brother, darrian and Greta took a shot. "Never have I ever kissed a good friend. " my brother said. I took the shot fastly. "I never pretended to love someone. " I say taking the shot anyway. "I never had sex. " I say and take another shot. I just grab the bottle and everyone shot up toward me. I jumped up gulping down some of the hard liquor. "Karma!" Greta called snatching the bottle. I fell to my knees holding my eyes. "I don't want to live!" I cried out feeling myself break. "I want to die!" I cry hitting my face and pulling my hair. "No karma no!" my brother pushed me back holding my wrist. "Kameron please !" I cried moving my head. "I love you karma stop. " He called. I just laid my head to the side crying.
I woke up on the couch. I saw everyone sitting around in the living room. I sat up and they did too. "What are we gonna do?" my brother asked me on the brink of tears. "What is there to do?" I asked. Greta got up and went around sitting by me and pulling me to her. I laid my head on her chest finally feeling myself at my worst. Greta's arms around me felt nice. Then my brother came around hugging my other side. Then I saw Darrian come and get on his knees in in front of of the couch. His arms were on the sides of my thighs as he looked up onto my eyes. It's hard to go through this when the pain source is in my face. "You need help. Real help. Not. Detox. " My brother said. "Longer treatment. " Greta added. I nodded biting my lower lip trembling.
"Hey. I am so sorry!" Darrian told me coming into my room. "For what?" I asked. "For everything I put you through. " He softly said. I sat up looking at him. "I didn't know it would have this impact on you. " He came and got in my bed. I looked over at him. "i thought we get it, that's it. " He got under my covers. "Well it wasn't for me!" I cried. He put his arm around me pulling my head to his chest. "Why did I so it?" I asked cried hitting his chest. "Why did I ever persuade you to do it?" he asked and I felt wet stuff hitting my face. I looked up and Darrian was crying. "I always wondered what our baby would look like. " He hiccuped. I sat back down crying softly speaking deeper into this heavy depression I thought I could get out of.
