Who Else And Other Works By: Jules L. Gonzales

"Blade..." By: Jules L. Gonzales

I am trying to fight it the best I can;

But it's calling out to me like a old friend;

It's reaching out and begging me to take its hand.

It's haunting my dreams when I sleep;

I am becoming a mess as I try and resist;

This feeling is becoming the darkest secret I keep.

I am failing everyone I know by wanting you;

I cannot take the pain of it all anymore;

And the tears that keep falling are the palest blue.

I am left a broken and worthless mess by them;

What happened to that cheeky little girl I use to be;

And as I look at myself now and I hate what I've become.

It's scary how wanting you isn't something I can contain;

It's scary that I can't stop missing the dark red dripping down my arm;

And what I fear the most is that it's this type of pain that demands to be cut away.

Why can't I find the strength to control this urge to always run to you when I cry;

Why are you always the one and only thing that can ever seem to help me cope;

I always run back to you when things get to be so rough and then when they ask, I lie.

 I can feel myself becoming a shell of the happy girl that I once was, it's like I am watching as I fade;

As I pick you up in my broken state, I can already imagine the disappointment in their eyes, yet I continue to cut, cut, cut;

I whisper "I'm sorry"  to no one as go on cut, cut, cut and I face the fact that I have become a prisoner of that fucking blade.

Cut, cut, cut....