Sinister Short Stories

A Happy Spree (Poem)

For the first time in a very long while

I am doing something that'll make her smile

I decided to get my dumb ass home real early

To my lovely little wife whose hair is curly

I called out her name and it was silent

Bad thoughts emerge but I'm defiant

I walk toward our room with a giant king bed

Sickening thoughts like maybe she's dead

I open the door and she's with a guy

She told me she was faithful but the bitch just lied.

I laughed and giggled and went to the kitchen

Grabbed a Myers knife so the kills are bitchin'

1st I stabbed his chest for touching her breast

Stabbing homewreckers is what I do best

All she had to do was file for divorce

Instead I settle out of court with a deadly force

So, I stabbed her in the back like she just stabbed mine

Think I went far? No, she crossed the line!

Not gonna lie I did a dance and gloat.

Now to myself is my T.V remote

Then I did something that might make you sick

I tore out his spine and used it for a pogo stick

Only two people I have ever killed

I must admit though it was such a thrill

I grabbed my trusty axe and went for a walk

I'm gonna be like a cornfield and begin to stalk

Outside I see little birds, red, blue and yellow

Who would have thought killing made me mellow?

So, I take a walk up and down my block

Sporting my axe and not a glock.

Guns are too loud and it deafens my hearing

I'm the new face that the world will be fearing

I'm not in control like someone else is steering

Like this isn't me, but a guest appearing

Now time to find that blood I'm smearing

I saw an old man named Mean Old Lou

I crushed him like an Ice Pick to an ice cube

Next, I saw a little boney teen that I didn't like

Tied a string around his throat and flew a kite

Hoping for lightning but the sun is out

String is so tight you can't hear him shout.

Let the string go and he soars to the sky

Watch him long enough to see him die

Stray dog comes to me with a viscious bark

Knocked him out and took him for a walk at a nearby park

Woke him up, let him loose on the ugly little kids

Didn't stick around to see the damage he did

All I heard was some childish screams

Never again will they taste ice cream

Decide to go to church to say a prayer

Ha! I'm kidding I really don't care.

As I was about to kill the pastor

He said something before I made his son a bastard

He told me what I'm doing is a sin

Well damn it, I guess I can never win

Killed him anyway, sorry father

Washed my hands clean with holy water.

Went back home, my wife has a breath

Guess she cheated me then she cheated death

As I drove my axe down one more time

Was going to say something but forgot my line

Next thing you know I woke up at my desk

I am perspired and my hair's a mess

I guess my wife is still doing well

Thought I had just sent her to Hell

Guess it's ok to have fun fantasies

If she does cheat then, I'll enjoy atrocities