The Provenance || Jon Snow | Game of Thrones

4.02

With each step Jon takes, he finds his wounded leg floundering in pain and further contributing to the limp that marks his walking motion through the hall of Castle Black, Sam rightly avoiding him at his side. He eyes Jon with worry even after telling him of Robb's death, only for Jon to admit of already having heard as much from the Mock Queen. But all the same, Sam knows how much Jon cared for Robb and wished to help him, trying to give him the listening ear he needs as guilt gives way to sadness and hopefully to acceptance.

"Last time I saw him, he was in the courtyard at Winterfell. He said, 'Next time I see you, you'll be all in black,'" Jon laughs with a rough tone of deep emotional pain. "I was jealous of Robb my whole life. The way my father looked at him, I wanted that. He was better than me at everything...fighting and hunting and riding and girls. Gods, the girls loved him. The only competition I ever won was Lady Baelish." Jon chuckles at the rather backward progress, turning to Sam with a deep and reminiscent expression to pair his words, "I wanted to hate him, but I never could."

"Sometimes I want to hate you," Sam tells Jon as they approach the door to Castle Black's hall, the latter giving Sam a look of misunderstanding as Sam solemnly stares. "Well, you're better than me at everything. Except reading." Jon does not laugh like Sam was hoping, but smiles slightly with a twinkle of amusement in his eye. Turning to the worn door, Sam's grin falls as he reminds the man, "They're ready for you."

Jon sighs and considers his rather rubbish luck walking in here, again remarking to Sam his negative thoughts, "He's wanted to hang me for a while. Now's his chance."

"No one's going to hang you," Sam denies with the shake of his head, "You've done nothing wrong."

But Jon just scoffs in disbelief, "I've done plenty wrong."

Before he loses his courage, Jon pushes open the doors to the hall and steps inside, shutting it behind him before stepping in front of the council to testify on the wildlings and his actions. Of the five, Jon recognizes the acting Lord Commander, Alliser Thorne, Maester Aemon, and First Builder Othell Yarwyck. The other two had been told to him, but Jon had only remembered the last name--Janos Slynt, former Lord Commander of the King's Landing City Watch--and Gabrielle's mention of maiming his neck. It was one of the only reasons he felt vaguely confident entering this hall, having insight into the actions of this man.

Jon recites back the story of his capture with the intent to tell it all before questioning. And yet, Alliser is the true thorn to his side, asking quick at the first sign of treachery, "So you admit you murdered Qhorin Halfhand?"

Jon rebukes as much as he shakes his head, "I didn't murder him."

"No?" Alliser raises a grey and mean eyebrow. "You put your sword through a brother of the Night's Watch. What do you call that?"

"He wanted me to kill him."

"A bastard son of a traitor," Janos Slynt reminds Alliser, and Jon suddenly remembers that this man was the one who turned his back on Eddard Stark, his father. He feels his rage boil into his blood, and almost overflowing as he meets Jon's eyes with, "What would you expect?"

But Jon contains it, knowing emotion is not his path to salvation as he tries logic instead, "The Halfhand believed our only chance to stop Mance was to get a man inside his army."

"Don't talk about the Halfhand as if you knew him. He was my brother," Alliser growls and Jon tries not to roll his eyes.

Instead, he uses the words against the fiend, "Then you'd know he'd do anything to defend the Wall. The Free Folk would have boiled him alive, but letting me kill him--"