Situations Are Irrelevant Now

New and Improved

Chapter 7: New and Improved 

The following morning, I woke up hangover-free and determined – presumably thanks to the fact that I had the bed to myself all night. For some weird reason, every now and then when I go to bed drunk, I wake up at some ungodly early hour.

Today was no exception.

No one else was awake, but I wanted some guaranteed privacy. So, I crept outside and sat on the front porch. The wheels in my head had been spinning relentless all night as I conceived a plan.

The first step would involve a little help from my cousin, Andrea, who worked at a hair salon. The phone rang four times before she groggily answered. 

“ANDREA!” I screamed, though not loud enough to draw unwanted attention.

“Megan?” she mumbled. “It’s great to hear from you and all…but why the hell are you calling so early?”

“I need your help.”

This seemed to wake her up a little more. “Oh God, what did you do? Are you in jail or something?” 

“No, nothing that bad. It does involve guys though.”

“Ronnie Radke, still? Girl, you need a life.”

It stung to think that I’m actually that predictable, but I stayed focused on the matter at hand. “Hey, if I remember correctly, you were the one always telling me to hook up with him.”

“That was like two years ago,” she said defensively. “Anyway, what does this have to do with me?”

“You still work at that hair salon, right?”

“Of course I do.”

“Good. Can you…can you give me a makeover?”

“Wait a minute. Is this for Ronnie?”

“Maybe…okay, yeah. Look, something happened between us last night and–.” 

“Did you have sex?”

“Almost,” I said so quietly that I wasn’t sure she heard me. But, of course she did.

“You have to give me the details!”

“Fine,” I sighed. “I’ll tell you everything when I come over. What time does the salon open?”

“For you, I can open it in an hour.”

I smiled. “Thanks, Andi. You’re the best.”

“I know,” she replied. “I’ll see you soon!”

+++

When I went back inside, I was surprised to see Max sitting at the kitchen table with a poptart in hand.

“I never thought I’d see the day Max Green wakes up before noon on a Saturday!” I laughed, which startled him.

Once he realized who it was, he pretended to be offended. “You’re one to talk. What are you doing up so early?”

Crap, now I need an excuse. “Um…I’m going to Starbucks. I’m in desperate need of some caffeine.”

“You know we have a ton of coffee, right?” he asked, pointing his poptart toward the pantry. 

“I’m too lazy,” I replied.

Thankfully, he didn’t push it anymore, and I was able to grab the keys to the van without any further delays.

Andrea’s hair place, Wicked, looked completely deserted, save for the one car in the parking lot. I could only assume that it was hers, so I parked and went into the salon. She had just put a Blink 182 album in the CD player when I walked in.