The Player and the Played

22. Three a.m. Confessions

I heard the first scream at 3:07. Okay now this sounds like the Conjuring but I promise you that it isn't. I rushed to the source of the scream which turned out to be Lana.

"Lana," I whispered. "What happened?" She gazed back at me, eyes blank and staring. She couldn't hear me. Her eyes were glistening. She was sitting upright and had her hands wrapped around her knees which she had brought up to her chest.

"Stop, please," she whispered, silently sobbing. A pang if panic went through me. She was sleepwalking and having a really bad nightmare. She screamed again. I froze. I had no idea what to do. I heard some shuffling as someone banged on my window.

"Hailey? Are you okay?" came Tyler's concerned voice.

"I'm fine," I replied, opening the window. "It's Lana I'm worried about."

"Lana? What happened to her?" he asked.

"She's sleepwalking and having a really bad nightmare. I don't know what to do, Ty."

"Just gently put her back to sleep. I'll do it." I nodded, ignoring my shaking hands as he gently laid her down again. Finally her shaky breaths stilled and he turned to me.

"What was she doing here? I thought you hated each other."

"Long story that isn't mine to tell. Thanks for helping out. You didn't have to."

"Of course I would." I took a second to appreciate how the beans of moonlight made his dark brown hair appear lighter. Also, did I mention he was shirtless? Because he was and it was hot. He was hot. But he was just a friend. Just a friend.

"Did you want to say something?" he asked.

"Oh, um, yeah," I said, looking away. "How did you know how to do that?" His face immediately closed up.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"It's okay. It's just, after Beth died, I had nightmares. Night terrors, really. They stopped after a year though," he said nonchalantly. "I don't really want to talk about it though."

"That's okay." Silence.

"She left me a letter."

"Hm?"

"Beth. She left me a letter. I've never read it. I'm too scared she's going to blame me in it. It was my fault after all."

"Tyler, how was it your fault?"

"I killed her by not noticing. I never noticed how she had begun to draw away from me. I never noticed how every time someone mentioned food, her face would pale. I realised all of that after she died and what she is that? I could have helped her. She probably thought I didn't love her. I did love her. But what's the sue if I never showed it? What's the use of I never helped her? What is love but an empty word devoid of meaning? It's just four letters. It's not just something you say. It's something you show. And I didn't show it. I was the only one who could have helped her. Her parents were workaholics. Her bet friend was a bitch. She didn't have anyone but me to help her. I spent time with her. I could have saved her."

"It's not your fault, Ty. You loved her and that was all you could have done at the time. Her symptoms weren't obvious and you hadn't expected it. You didn't know about them. Every problem can't be solved. Every person can't be saved, even when there's someone to save them. She made her decision and it's not your fault. It's not your fault society sucks."

"But I should have made her happy."

"Sometimes, people are so sad you can't make them happy. They're good at faking their smiles and laughs and never show that they're hurting."

"Yeah, I guess."

"You should go now. We have school."

"Yeah, I guess." He hung around for just about another second before whisking out into the night like a silent ninja.

I had expected my tired eyes to shut and remain shut but they didn't. My brain kept wandering and thinking about Tyler and Lana. When I'd met them, I thought they were the typical player and bitch of the school. But they were more than that. And in one night, I had come to appreciate them so much more, especially Lana. Once I got to know Tyler he was a sweet, slightly cocky and really nice guy. And now I realised that he was more than that. He was one of the strongest people I'd met. After Ashley's death, I had become the ghost of the person I was. I took two years to move on even after moving here. And Tyler kept seeing Beth in the hallways and probably had a million memories. Besides, the shock and the fact that he blames himself made his grief even worse. But he always put on a mask of not caring.

Lana, too. She kept up a bitchy facade only because people expected her to. But she was the sweet girl who thought she had ruined her life. She was the strong girl who got nightmares and never showed that she was hurting.

I had considered myself a strong person. I had been through a lot. But tonight, the word 'strength' took on a whole new meaning for me. I was strong but I had never seen the strength in others before unless I got to know them. I was too quick to judge. And when I fell asleep at around 4:30, the last thought that ran through my mind was how I had learnt something so important from the most unlikely people in one of the most unlikely circumstances.

A/N
Ughh my bold still isn't working. Neither is my italics. And I don't use underline anyway.

Anyway, I updated so soon! I wrote this while coming back from school yesterday and finished it today in the car on my way back from school. Next time I'm stuck on the bus sitting next to someone who's asleep, on their phone or doesn't start a conversation, I'll update because I'm too awkward to start a conversation myself.

Quote-
The distance between your dreams and reality is called action.
-Anon

Song recommendation

I love Kygo so much.

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Cupcakes for everyone because I actually updated and even though I hadn't updated for ages, you guys still stuck around.

Love y'all.
Xoxo
Anu.