It's Because of You (BTS Jin)

Chapter 20: Don't Blame Yourself

A/N: Since it's our sembreak, I'll do my best to update. I'm very sorry for not updating for too long because of school. Sorry for the wrong spelling and wrong grammar. I hope you like it and thanks everyone for supporting my story. Have a nice day!

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Min Kyung's Pov

It's been 2 days since that happened,I still can't believe that he feels the same. After what happened that day, I felt so happy. But also I'm always trying  to be careful and I avoid to go out at night. I'm afraid what if his boss knew that he's the one who killed his fellow Crowheart member, Chul Moo and Dong Chan. Sometimes, I can't help but to blame myself. Because of me, his life is in danger, because of me he's in trouble once his boss knew about what he did, and it's because of.... me. It's all because of me. 

I sat here in our living room while looking at the window. It's raining and I'm drinking coffee. It's one of my favorite thing to do when it's raining. I'm still worried about Jin, and to be honest I'm also worried about my family. I know that I put their life in danger to because I'm the one who told Jin about their wrongdoings. In short, I'm the reason why he decided to rebel against his group.  It's my fault. Now, I don't know what to do.  And what haunts me the most is when their leader knew that they're going to stop his plan, his dreams. I'm sure that he'll disagree with their plan and will not even think twice to stop it, and worst is to kill them for betraying him. 

While worrying about what will happen to Jin, his friends, and my family, I didn't even notice that the rain stops, and it's been 5 pm. i need to go to the grocery store to buy some foods. I went to the grocery store, I decided to walk since the store isn't that far from our house. After buying some foods, I decided to go home. While walking, someone grab me and drag me to the alleyway. it scares me, I prepare myself for the worst. 

When I look at the person who drags me, it's no other than Jim himself. 

Me: What the heck?! You scared me!

Him: I'm sorry, I just make sure that no one will see us. You know, to avoid getting in trouble. 

He chuckle when he said that. I don't know what to say. His words has a different meaning to me, because it makes me think that I'm the one who gets him in trouble. 

Him: By the way, how are you? I miss you!

He hugs me and I felt safe. I wish that we can stay like this forever.

Me: I'm fine, how about you? 

Him: I'm fine too. 

I look at him and he gave me a smile. I gave him a smile too. I think it's the best way if we stop this, it's not because I don't love him anymore, but it feels like I'm the one who's getting him in trouble. It feels like I'm killing him. 

Me: Jin.... let's stop this. 

With that, he frown and said "What do you mean?" 

Me: Let's end our relationship, I think it's the best for us, the best for you.

Him: WHAT?! BEST FOR ME?! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT IT'S THE BEST FOR ME?!

I'm shocked at his sudden action. But what can I expect? It's normal that he gets angry. He looks at me, I can see in his eyes that he's really angry, and I can see the pain in it. 

Me: It's the best for you! You know why? It's because I can't help but to blame myself that because of me, you're in trouble! Because of me you decided to rebel against your group! Because of me you decided to put your life in danger... and it's all because of .... me. 

After that, he didn't say a word, he's just looking at me.

Me: I'm sorry Jin, but I think it's the one for us to stop it.

I was about to leave when he hug me.

Him: Do you really think it's your fault. It's not. Why? It's my choice, it's my decision. The first time I saw you, I have the chance to avoid you after that, but I didn't. Being friends with you? I  have the chance to say no and avoid you, but I didn't. When someone is trying to hurt you, I have the chance to let you there and leave since it's not my business to help you, but I still save you. I have the chance to kill you if I want to because I know that I'll be in trouble because of being friends with you, but I didn't. I have so many chances to avoid you, but I didn't, it's because I love you. So don't blame yourself, it's not your fault. It's mine. If there's anyone to blame here, it's no other than myself. It's my decision to rebel against the Crowheart, it's my choice to save you. It's my choice to stay with you. So please... don't leave me. I don't want to lose you.

I'm speechless. I don't know what to say. 

Him: Stay with me Min Kyung-ah. 

I smile and say "I will." He smile and said "Don't worry about me, I know what to do, and I'll do my best to protect you. Just stay with me." 

Me: I'll stay with you. I'm sorry for trying to leave you because I thought that it's the best for you.

Him: Silly... it's the worst for me. 

He pinch my cheek and I just look at him with a smile. 

Him: I'm sorry for being mad at you a while ago. I'm just shock and I don't know what to do.

Me: It's alright, it's normal for you to be mad. 

He gave me a smile and he accompany me home. It makes me happy to be with him. I don't know what to do if something bad happened to him. 

We're already here in my house. I thanked him and my mother ask him if he wants to have a dinner with us. He gladly accepted. 

While my mother is cooking a dinner for us, Jin and I were watching tv. My mother called us for dinner and we went to the dining room to eat. I look at Jin and I'm glad that he gets along with my family. 

Jin's Pov

I can't believe that he wants to end our relationship, but I understand, I can't blame her. She's just worried about my own safety. I can't bear to lose her, I already lose my family before. And besides, it's not her fault, it's my decision, and it's my choice to chose her over my clan. 

I accompany her to her house and her mother ask me if I want to stay for a while for a dinner. i gladly accepted. While her mother cooks dinner, we watch tv for a while. To be honest, I'm afraid of what'll going to happen once her family knew about me. I'm sure that they'll broke us apart. Who would want their daughter to be in danger because of his lover? But I understand if they want Min Kyung to stay away from me. 

Am I selfish? Is it the best for me? Maybe it's the best for me if I have Min Kyung with me, but how about her? I'm putting her life in danger because of me. Maybe I'm selfish, maybe she's right a while ago, that we need to end this, to end our relationship for the safety of the both of us. But I don't know, I don't want to do that. My thought is interrupted when her mother called us for dinner. 

While eating dinner, I observe them, they talk and laugh with each other. It seems like she have a happy family, and I can't help but to feel envy. I wonder if my family is still alive and I didn't have to kill to be able to survive, life would be easier if that's my life look like, but it's a complete opposite. 

I talk to them and I have fun to hang out with her family even for a while. After the dinner, I help her mother to clean the dishes, but her mother told me not to. After that, I need to go, I wish that I can hang out for a little longer, but I have some business to do. 

Before leaving her house, I thanked them for the dinner. While walking, I can't help but to think about breaking up with her, but I guess I don't have to, I just need to make sure that she's safe, not only her, but also her family. I promise myself that I won't let someone to hurt her.