~Loki Imagines~

Loki And The Angry Inch pt.1

AU where Loki is Hedwig from 'Hedwig And The Angry Inch', a kickass musical about how Hansel became Hedwig and left East Berlin to find fame(?) in America.  This will be several parts, but each part will be quite short because I want to tell the story instead of going into detail of each moment. 

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Chapter One: Thor aka The Sugar Daddy

"I was born on the other side." Loki held the microphone close to her mouth and peered through the gaps between her fake eyelashes. Well 'fake' eyelashes, they weren't tacky, but had a personality of their own, yet they weren't natural. A lot about Loki wasn't natural. Her entire history wasn't natural. So this was her way of coping with it. Facing a crowd. She could see the people sitting there, stuffing their faces with food as she bared her soul night after night. 

How did she end up singing in lonely diners with a mediocre band to back her up? Like I said, that was a long story. It started on the other side that Loki spoke of. Asgard. 

Back then, he lived there in innocence, his future unkown. He grew up singing along to music he picked up from Midgard, a world far beyond his reach. He was locked up, so to say. He had to keep his facination with Midgardians a secret and he had to accept all the shit he got thrown at him. Not literal shit, of course, Asgard was a beautiful place, but it was ruled strictly and these rules weighed heavier on the prince of Asgard. 

Loki grew up under his mother's wing, since his father didn't care much for him. His father was waiting for a worthy heir that never came. Meanwhile Loki  became the man that Asgard needed him to be. Yet he didn't want to be there. He felt like he couldn't breathe. That's why every once in a while he sneaked out to a far off waterfall where he dived and swam until late in the night. One afternoon he lay there on his stomach, naked and the sun shining on his skin, making him glow with beauty. 

No surprise a low voice spoke up. "Damn girl." Loki was shocked and rolled around towards the voice. "My name is Thor, I'm a god. The god of thunder no less." "My name is Loki" The younger boy spoke up, and he sat up now. Thor stared at Loki silently, processing the fact that he had encountered not a girl, but a boy. "Well, you must be Odin's son."  Thor continued then. "No, I'm not his son by blood. I am the prince of Asgard, though." "Still, I can sense you're regal. Do you like to live in high class castles and dress in the latest styles?" "I guess I do." "Are you hungry?"

Just like that, Loki's stomach growled and groaned. "Yes, I am. Do you have anything to eat?" "I just have some sweets, I hope that's okay." "What are sweets?" "They're from Midgard." Thor said as he took a bag of gummybears out of his pocket and opened it to hand Loki some. Loki's eyes widened. "You've been to Midgard?" "Yes of course! I'm a god, it's kind of what we do." "I'm a god, but I never go there. I'm not allowed." "I will take you there someday, okay?" Loki nodded happily and put some of the candy into his mouth. He let the taste roll around in his mouth and felt new sensations. He had never had anything like this before. He moaned softly. "Wow, I feel so optimistic." Thor smiled and handed him some more.

Loki felt like he knew the taste of the sweets, it tasted like power. Something that he lacked for a long time. "Damn Loki, I can't believe you're not a girl. You're so fine." Thor's low voice spoke up. "Why don't you take the whole bag?" Thor handed it and Loki looked up to him. He saw that Thor was searching his face for some reaction, but he didn't know what reaction he was expecting. It suddenly hit him and he nearly choked on the candy. He grabbed his clothes and ran off, leaving a trail of candy behind him. At home he stressed and thought the situation over again and again. The next day, he followed the trail, finding a fully sized sugar daddy at the end of it. 

**Cue the song I added in the media**

Weeks flew by and the pair had only gotten closer. "He loves me, mommy. He wants to marry me." Loki said, looking at the queen with wide, happy eyes, while showing off his ring. Thor stood behind him, smirking down at his bundle of joy. "But, that means you're going to leave, right?" Frigga said with a sad tone. "Because Odin can't find out about your marriage." Loki nodded. "Yes, I'm sorry mother. I wasn't destined for this life anyways. I want to get the hell out of here." He looked back at Thor, who smiled at the Midgard saying Loki had used. 

"But how are we going to do that? Heimdal isn't going to let you leave, he works for Odin. And I'm not going against my husband's will." "We only have one option, Loki." Thor said and he took his hands. "Baby, you know I love you. But we can only get you out of here if we go past Heimdal while you're disguised as a woman. That means a full-physical examination." "Why would Heimdal need a full-physical examination?" "He doesn't. But his eyes see all, so he'll see you're Loki right away unless we go into detail with your disguise." "What are you saying?" Loki said, looking at Thor with a pouty face. "In order to leave Asgard, you must also leave something behind in Asgard. A part of you." 

It hit Loki like a train. But the news didn't hurt more than the 'operation' itself. 

Loki continued her story, singing to her audience. The song was very punk rock and pissed off the crowd. Especially when the story of her angry inch got explained in gory details:

"Long story short

When I woke up from the operation

I was bleeding down there

I was bleeding from the gash between my legs

My first day as a woman

and already it's that time of the month

But two days later

the hole closed up

The wound healed

and I was left with a one inch mound of flesh

where my penis used to be

where my vagina never was

A one inch mound of flesh with a scar running down it

like a sideways grimace

on an eyeless face

Just a little bulge

It was an angry inch"

A man jumped up from the crowd and yelled 'faggot' before he was mowed down by a bandmember. They music was crappy from time to time, but at least they had Loki's back. More audience members attacked the band and they fought back while Loki and the drummer and Clint with his guitar kept playing. 

Loki zoned out at one point and thought back of how her marriage ended. She arrived in America with Thor and they settled in a trailer. Or more like, Loki settled in a trailer. Thor packed his stuff and left without a word. He just looked at his wife with a smirk that said 'sorry not sorry' and left. Gods will be gods. They're never tied down, even when you think and hope and dream for a second that this time things will be different. 

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Well some parts of this were hard to write so you guys better like it XD

For the second song, just look up 'angry inch'. There is a Broadway version of this musical with Neil Patrick Harris and there is a film as well. If you want to get to know the story, go watch the film. If you want to hear the music, listen to the recordings with NPH, they're awesome!

Next part will be up soon I hope. I'm really looking forward to the next part eheheh so yeah bye for now and go share this with your crazy friends, because people need to know about this musical and amazing story(of the musical, not this imagine, this imagine is kind of crappy lol)

Bye and thanks for reading

Sarah