I stood at the edge of the cliff and looked into the abyss. Fuck me, this is deeper than the Canyon of Skulls aka the Demon Realm equivalent of the Grand Canyon. I tossed a rock and listened to see if it hit anything...nothing. "You have a minute to decide whether you jump or quit, Arioch." Great. I decided to wing it. I leaped and fell for what felt like several minutes before hitting a ledge padded with corpses. How pleasant. I wiped the goo off of my hands and leaped again. Again, I landed on soft, gushy corpses. I peered down and saw the ground only a few feet away from me. I climbed down from the ledge and stood on the ground, looking into the distance. Where do I go from here? I walked along wading through streams of blood and being chased by horrifying beasts. "Welcome, Arioch." "Hi there." I replied. "Your first challenge is one of flesh and blood." Ugh, I don't have too much of that stuff left to spare. "Let's see it." I replied, flatly. Two enormous beasts emerged just before me, wielding spears. "These are the two devils of the canyon. The unfortunate members of the damned who have wandered into the canyon have never made it past them." I saw the bones scattered around...and little pieces of green hair. Haha, they got Anti at least once. Awesome. I chuckled a bit. "They don't like you. They want to kill you." I did NOT like the way they looked at me, that's for sure. They raised up their spears and jammed them into two rocks which shattered immediately. Oh fuck. Sprites and beasts blocked the entrance and exit and cheered. I'm the subject of a spectator sport for these freaks. Fuck me. I guess all of those corpses on the ledges belonged to those who couldn't beat these guys. Before I could ponder the dead bodies that broke my landing any further, a spear flew by my head, barely missing it. I ran to it and tried to pick it up, but it was way too heavy to lift. The devil that threw it laughed. I hid behind a rock which shattered as the other devil threw his spear into it. No matter where I hid, they found me by simply hurling their spears until my cover was blown. When I was all out of cover, I still hadn't come up with a plan to defeat these guys. This might be it. Then it hit me....I could hide behind one of the devils. I ran between the massive legs of the devil that laughed at me and his counterpart hurled his spear directly into his chest and he burst into bloody pieces that littered the canyon. Ha! One down one to go. His partner chased me until I was breathless and had my back against the canyon wall. I lunged at the devil and ran between his legs until he fell over, dizzy and confused. When he went to stand, he slipped and fell into a river of blood, unconscious. The canyon was dead quiet, except for the sound of my labored breathing. "I'm impressed. You've defeated the devils. You may move on now." I walked toward the only exit, a path that led around a bend. The beasts of the land stepped aside and let me pass without issue. "Your next challenge is one of the mind." "Well, big guiding voice in the sky, we might have an issue there. I kinda lost mine sometime between meeting Anubis and the cockroach pit." "You'll have time to fix up your mind. You'll be walking through this canyon for hours before you reach your next challenge. It will be dark. In the meantime, you will navigate dangerous rivers, battle beasts twice your size, and be confronted by unpleasant visions and voices." Great. I walked alongside a deep river of blood, peering into it now and again, looking for beasts. I heard the sound of sobbing in the distance. I was drawn to it immediately. It sounded familiar. It sounded like Lilith. I rounded a bend and saw her sitting with her head resting on her knees, weeping. I went to her side and tried to speak to her, but my voice only made her cry more. I went to lift her head and when I touched her, she turned to dust and ashes and fell through the spaces between my fingers. Watching her fall apart in my hands was enough to make me wretch. I panicked, and turned to run, and met a tall, lanky beast. Head of a bull, body of a goddess. She picked me up and squeezed me tightly as if she was a child and I was her favorite stuffed animal. I felt my insides start to suffer as I gasped for breath. I managed to reach out and scratch her eyes and she dropped me. I laid on the ground as she ran away screaming a horrific sounding scream. As bad as my pain was, I knew I had to press on...bull bitch was probably running to find her friends. I dragged myself along until the blood river I'd been following cut me off. On the other side, I saw a clearing...a place of temporary refuge. I had to get there. I had to rest and drink something. I stepped into the river of blood and immediately the voices of people and demons I love began calling for me from beneath the surface. Their pleas for help were almost impossible to ignore. I looked down and saw their faces in the blood. I reached for one, and noticed that I sank down a bit as I did. The face of my mother was calling me from deep below the surface. She told me she couldn't breathe...that she was dying. I reached for her, telling her to grab my hand, and I sank down further. I'm gonna get myself fucking killed if I don't get my head straight. I soldiered on, screaming bloody murder to keep the sound of their voices from being the only sounds in my head. When I waded out of the river, the voices stopped just as quickly as they started. Fuck this place. I need to get out. "Well done." I followed the path that I was on into the clearing where I collapsed from exhaustion and my injuries. Tears stung my eyes. I began to feel like I'd never get home. Andromeda is dead. I breathed heavily as I heard howling...horrible howling in the distance. "Fenrir is waiting. Fear not, you will ride him to your next challenge." I picked my head up and saw a giant wolf before me. He looked vicious. "Magic voice, I thought I couldn't have help?" "You can't. Fenrir's job here is to carry you to your next challenge." Fenrir laid on the ground and I crawled onto him. His dark fur reeked of death and felt sticky with blood. He stood and slowly walked until his chain was taught. We covered a lot of distance. I thanked him and hopped off his back. He growled at me, baring his teeth which were about half as tall as I am. I guess riding on him in and of itself was a test of bravery in a way. He's fucking feral. I saw a handful of goat headed priestesses standing before me, fanning a goat headed king of sorts. He spoke to me once he saw me. "Pick the servant who is lazy and I will let you pass, but if you choose the wrong one, your journey stops here." All of them seemed to be working just as hard as the others. Perhaps the lazy servant didn't exist. I pondered the question for quite awhile before I found the answer. "You all serve Osiris. Only one of you is sitting. It's you goat man." He hissed in anger and he and his servants disappeared. I breathed a sigh of relief and continued to walk in the darkness. "You have passed the challenges set before you. Now only one thing remains: getting out." I looked up. Oh god, there had to be miles to climb, and with virtually no ledges, one false move and I was toast. I started my ascent to hopefully greatness and slipped around, forcing myself to dig my nails into the rocks til they bled, and to grab everything I could to pull myself up. I had only climbed a few feet before feeling completely exhausted, but I pressed on. Phoenixes dive bombed me, doing everything they could to make me fall. I ignored their flaming wings and otherworldly shrieking. Slowly but surely I began to climb faster. My spirits picked up and I kept climbing. Hours passed, and my sweat and blood covered aching body was in danger of giving out on me. I looked down. Big mistake. I was essentially dangling thousands of feet in the air with nothing to break my fall if I fell. I swung my arm over my head and grabbed thorns instead of a rock. Fuck it, too late to pull back. My flesh ripped as I pulled myself up on the thorny shrub. The pain was insane, but...it was either I get cut or I get killed. The sun was beginning to rise. I don't have much time left. Just when I felt like giving up and letting myself fall to my death, I saw the rim of the canyon. I climbed to it with all I had, and dragged myself to the feet of Anubis and Osiris. I looked up at them, a panting blood covered mess. They checked their ancient sundial and smiled at me. "You did it." Osiris said. I was a bit too exhaused to celebrate. "You can return home now." They opened a portal together. "Remember: if you die again, you will be judged and either rewarded or punished. There will be no going home." I nodded and shakily stood. "Since you've completed the challenge, we will award you with three wishes. What are they?" I thought for a moment. "Restore my father's demonic powers, take Andromeda and punish her in the worst ways possible, and let me give the third wish to a friend." "Done, done, and done." he waved his scepter and I was gone from the underworld. I woke up on my back in dirt. "Really? I fucking die and no one gives me a proper fucking burial? The fuck is this shit?" I sat up and felt a vial in my lap. It looked like it came from the underworld. Ahh...(y/n)'s wish. I put it in my pocket and stood up. I cracked my neck and fixed my...decomp issue. I looked around and realized I was totally alone. "Anyone there?" I asked. No response. Fine. I wanna take a bath anyway. I snapped my fingers and arrived at home. Oh fuck yeah, baby. I'm home! I heard sobbing coming from the living room. "He's really dead." (y/n) wept. "He's fucking dead, Kobelle!" I frowned hard. Poor (y/n). "I can't believe it. All those times I wished him away." Mark too? God. A wry little smile spread across my lips. How shocked they'd be. I walked around the corner and saw Mark and a few of our mutual friends, (y/n), Kobelle, Lilith, and Circe. "What's all the crying for?" I asked. They all looked up at me in shock. "Yeah, that's right. Not even dying can keep me from living." The group mobbed me and before I could stop it from happening, I was on my back again. "Guys, get off. I reek like death, I'm sore as fuck...I really want a shower." Mark pulled me up and we locked eyes. "Welcome back." he said. "That's all you've got? Typical. You fucking asshole." I said, giving him a shove. He laughed. "God I'm glad you're home." he said, hugging me. He pulled away. "God, you really do reek like death." "I was dead, dick." I replied. I spent a few hours assuring everyone I was not a replacement or a zombie and one by one they filed out, except for (y/n). She looked at me anxiously. "I brought you something." I said. She looked at me sideways. "It's a wish. It's good for anything you want." I handed her the vial. "That's sweet that you thought of me." she replied. She reached out to hug me. "Don't...I still smell like death, hon." I said, stepping back. "I don't care." I chuckled. "I do." I replied. "I'm taking a shower." I said. "Join me?" she looked at me and blushed like she did the first time I spoke to her. "Let's go."
A/N: this book is done. What'd you think of the Lion's Den?
-Fooki
