The One [ Namjoon FF | BTS ]

18. All by myself

T: "Hello?..."

S : " Hey Tae, h-how are you?"

T : "Doing fine, thank you! A-And you?"

S : "Fine, thanks..."

T : " .... Listen, I am truly sorry for not replying to your messages and calls..."

S : "Oh uhm, it's okay I supposed you were busy..."

T : " Yeah but, that's not a reason. It's just that I'm a little bit confused over everything. I feel like I put you in such an uncomfortable situation where you didn't have the choice to choose and it was just all about me... I acted really selfishly and didn't even though of what you really feel... You've always been the perfect best friend and I'm afraid I might lose you because of my feelings for you and... And as a best friend, I shouldn't have done all of this. It's just seeing you in this situation with Namjoon, and seeing you constantly sad affected me and I just wanted to protect you but I did it in a bad way. Those 3 days made me realize it..."

S : "...."

T : "Please, don't cry Saia, I... I'm such a loser, f***!"

S : "No, you're not! It's just... I was so scared to hurt you and I would've never forgive myself for that, and yeah I.. I'm sorry I don't know what to say"

T : "Don't apologize please, that's my fault and not yours! Once i go back home we'll talk about it okay? But for now, don't worry okay!"

S : " Okay... I miss you!"

T : "I miss you too Saia! Miss you so much! Well, I got to go now, have a good night!"

S : "You too Taehyung...Sweet dreams"

Ok, so basically, he just broke up with me and I'm weirdly fine with it, I feel relieved in a way, I didn't have to do it myself at least. Tssk, I don't even deserve him, even as a friend he's way too good for me.

I was hearing the boys loudly talking in the living room. I looked at myself in the mirror and removed my eye makeup and went downstairs.

~~~~

Jimin: "I'm sure this is it! I told you! I'm sure:"

Jungkook: "It can't be! No way, I'm telling you! Oh... Saia!"

S : " What's going on here ?"

Jungkook : "Come here noona, sit down! What happened? The boys gathered around me, ready to listen to me.

S : " He broke up with me" Everyone looked at me with surprise in their eyes.

Jin : " What?! Are you serious!"

S : 'Yeah, he said he rushed everything without taking into consideration my own feelings and he started apologizing telling he doesn't want us to lose the wonderful friendship we have and he doesn't wanted to break that. That's why he didn't wanted to answer me, he was scared..."

Jimin : "Oh... Are you okay tho? "

S : "Yeah, I'm okay don't worry, I guess he was right...He's too precious for me, and I can't thing of the idea of losing him, and honestly, I don't even deserve him "

Hobi : " But you guys stay friends right ?" He looked at me with worried eyes

S : "Yeah of course! We'll always be, don't worry about that...Uh, guys.. Can you stay overnight please, I don't feel like being alone tonight, Jimin and Jungkook, you can take my bedroom, Jin and Hobi you can take Namjoon's bedroom, but shhhhh, don't tell him"

Jimin : "And you?"

S : " I'll stay in the couch don't worry,  you're my guests I won't let you sleep on the floor."

Jin : "What about we all sleep in the living room together ? We can put the coffee table in the side and it'll make a bigger place for us"

S : "That sounds good! Let me bring all the blankets I have to put them here"

* NEXT MORNING*

Jin made us breakfast, we all ate together and now they're all gone to their everyday activities. I stayed all day by myself, sleeping and watching tv

*A WEEK LATER*

Life has been pretty boring, I don't work and everyone is busy minding their own businesses. It's already been a week since Namjoon left. We didn't really talked since then, he just sends me some random text messages, to ask if I'm doing okay.. he didn't call me though, and when I do, he doesn't pick up.

It's now 11 a.m., on a Sunday morning and I don't know what to do with my life. Let's start another excitingly boring day...

Man, I feel very lonely. Usually, Namjoon is always with me, and even if he's busy doing something, feeling his presence is enough. To occupied my mind, I decided to go to the beach to write some lyrics. The sound of the waves have some power on me.

After a 20 minutes bus ride, I finally arrived. I took off my shoes before stepping on the warm sand. I put my little blanket on the sand and sat on it. It's a really beautiful summer day, the breeze is so refreshing and the sun is shining. I wish I wasn't alone...

Let's take my notebook and start writing some stuff.

"Just like letters on the sand where waves were, I feel you'll disappear to a far-off place, I always miss you. All the words in my heart, I can't show them all to you but, it's that I love you. How can I be so lucky to have met you, which is a blessing If we're together now, how great it'd be, in my diary, all the words I can't show them all to you... It's that I love you"...

Ughhh, kill me with that cheesiness ! I layed down of desperation and closed my eyes.

S : "Aaaaaaah why do I feel like this, I hate myself !"

- : "Yo, What did I say to you last time!? Don't ever hate yourself..."

S : "Wh-What?.. Are you doing here?..."

- TBC-