The One [ Namjoon FF | BTS ]

19. I know it all

S : "Wh-What?.. Are you doing here?..." It was Namjoon...the one and only. With his suitcase in one hand, a coffee on the other hand.

OH MY GOD, my heart is beating so fast I'm going to faint... Calm the f*** down!

N : "What a great way to be greeted after a long week without seeing each other! I missed you too!"

S : "Good to see you but I... wasn't expecting you to comeback this early. Weren't you supposed to stay for another week or so?" I woke up at the same time and put away my stuff in my bag.

N : "Uhm, yeah but I-I uhm... I decided to come back because I remembered how close we were from the end of the holidays and w-..I have to prepare for University and stuff"

S : "Oh, yeah you're right we're starting Uni in 12 days... Finally. Why are you here?"

N : "I just wanted to pass by the beach before going home, I don't know... and you?"

S : "I was bored and I needed some fresh air, it's a waste to stay indoors when the weather is that beautiful"

N : "Are you okay?... You seem a little down.." he looked at me with a worried look

No I am not okay, stupid. I'm tired, I'm confused, I'm indecisive and I don't know what to do with my existance right now. On top of that, you didn't even contacted me and I didn't got any news from you in a week. Now you act like nothing happens and you want me to feel good and ask me why I look "down"... Do you even care ? Because if you don't, I won"t be surprised anymore.

S : "Me? Yeah I'm doing great! Just a little bit tired but nothing big don't worry!" I smiled at him and put my bag on my shoulder. "It's time to go home, are you coming?"

N : "Oh, no I'm staying here a little bit longer. Go ahead, I won't be too long"

S : "As you want! See you!"

\ Namjoon's POV /

I followed her from the eyes until her body dissapeared from my sight.
I didn't came back this early for University... I came back because he called me, he told me everything and want to be here for her if she's feeling bad.... What a bad friend I made these past couple of weeks. I just realized I've let her alone without even taking into consideration her feelings. I feel disgusted by myself, I am so egotistic, so selfish, so patethic...
I don't want her to lose the sparkles in her eyes everytime she talks to me, and I'll do anything for it. I must do it

As I was about to go back to catch a bus, I noticed something under my suitcase, on the sand.
It is a little notebook.... that's hers! She probably forgot it. Shit, thankfully I saw it, this notebook is really important to her. I put the notebook in my pocket and walked out of the sand to take the bus.

As I was contemplating the beautiful land from the bus window, something came to my mind.... I want to take a look at her notes, just a little... it's nothing wrong, right? I started to open the notebook, with a little bit of apprehension. Why? Who knows...
Clothes sketches, face sketches, some scribbles and..... this little text..

« just like letters on the sand where waves were, I feel you'll disappear to a far-off place, I always miss you. All the words in my heart, I can't show them all to you but, it's that I love you. How can I be so lucky to have met you, which is a blessing If we're together now, how great it'd be, in my diary, all the words I can't show them all to you... It's that I love you »... with KNJ written all over the corner of the sheet. I put back the notebook on my pocket.

If so, does it means what I think it means? Does it confirm what he told me about her? If yes, then we'll have to clear things up.

-TBC-