positive • jenzie

25 ⇢ this is some deep shit

❝Nothing you confess,
could make me love you less.❞
- Jesus

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Dedicated to duhitztheunicorn  xx

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Mackenzie Ziegler

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Every nerve in my body is screaming at me to leave, to hide, and to preserve my dignity. But I don't. With trembling hands and a weak feeling in my stomach I begin walking across the hall to where my sister and Mum are talking. Wearing only a housedress and slippers, I take a deep breath before opening the door.

"Hey Kenz." Maddie says casually, and Mum turns to face me.

"Hey." I manage to let out, walking faster than normal over to her bed because I'm not sure how much longer my legs will hold me up.

While they chat, I perch myself next to Maddie. They stop talking after a while, Maddie noticing my trembling hands and pointing them out. At this being mentioned, I can't hold it in any longer and I burst into tears.

"Woah, are you okay honey?" Mum asks, tone full of concern. Burying my head into her shoulder, I shake repeatedly– meaning no.

Maddie rubs my back in what's supposed to be a calming motion, unfortunately it only makes me cry harder.

"Did you have another fight with John?" She asks.

"No." I choke out.

"Sweetie, we can't help if we don't know whats wrong." Mum soothes me, and I gasp for breath. Taking my face out of her shoulder and swiping at my eyes, I deliver them the news that they probably didn't think they would hear for at least ten years.

"I'm pregnant."

Maddie's jaw drops in utter disbelief, my Mum taking on a more aggressive approach.

"You're what?" She whispers.

Flushing red, I try and explain. "Johnny and I– we... we didn't use protection."

"Oh Kenz." Maddie whistles. "This is some deep shit."

My Mum looks like she's about to chide Maddie for language, but then turns to me again. "Mackenzie, this isn't a funny joke."

"I'm not joking." I sob, putting my head in my hands. "This is serious."

"Oh." Mum says in an attempted voice of comfort.

"How?" Maddie stutters again. She's always very slow on the uptake.

I bite my lip. "Mum had the charity gala and Maddie you were with Jack. We... we were alone."

"Mack–"

"Mum, how the fuck am I supposed to be a mother? I'm still in high school for gods sake!" I shriek, standing and beginning to get emotional.

"Mackenzie Ziegler, sit down." Mum yells almost angrily, emphasising the end part of her sentence. With water rushing down my cheeks, I take a seat when I realise the situation we're in.

"Did you use a reliable test?"

I nod my head slowly, teeth chattering.

"How long ago was the charity gala?"

Shrugging my shoulders, I blink my way through the tears. I'm vaguely aware of Maddie getting up to look at a calendar.

"Four months ago." She calls out.

Mum nods at me, and I know what she means. Yes, it's possible. Yes, I'm pregnant.

Sobbing again, I brush hair out of my eyes. When she opens her arms, I step into them, mumbling: "I'm scared."

"Don't be hun, don't be." She whispers back. "Maddie, could you give us a minute?"

Knowing our hugging session is over, I pull away after hearing the door click shut.

"Kenz, show me your stomach please."

Wordlessly, I take the hem of my shirt and tug it up. Eyes focused, she takes in the bump that's formed over my abdomen.

"Have you had morning sickness?"

After thinking for a few seconds, I nod. Many, many times.

"We'll have to do some thinking Mackenzie, and get you to a doctor. If you are pregnant, you'll have to get a private tutor.... dance could become difficult..."

Blinking through tears again, my next sentence comes out muffled. "I've fucked up my whole life Mum."

"You're mistakes aren't what define you. I hate to say it, but through this your going to need support and that will namely come from us, and Johnny."

At Johnny's name, I give a squeak.

"Yes, you'll have to tell him– unless... Johnny is the father, right?" She says, gasping.

Heat flooding my cheeks, I laugh a little. "Yes, yes he is."

"Oh good." Mum sighs heavily, smiling.

"Where to now?" I question after an awkward silence.

"We book a doctors appointment." She says grimly. I wince. "But before that, you have to tell him. You've got to tell Johnny you're pregnant."

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[815 words]

Qotd: if you're upset about something, who would you go to?
Aotd: my sister, dad, best friend or any of my internet friends <3

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