Today I finally realized that my words don't actually mean anything, I have this chat with a group of my friends and I can not say anything at all and no one notices, that's because when I do say things no one cares because what I say isn't funny, or smart, or even stupid... it's just empty words. Last night I couldn't go onto the chat because I was having a breakdown, I was crying my eyes out, I almost threw up because of how much I had cried. I broke a mirror because I threw it at my bedroom wall and got glass everywhere, then.... I picked up a piece of glass and played with it in my hands I pressed against my skin and pulled it across my right wrist, no deep or hard enough to cut, but enough to feel the pressure. I kept repeating the same sentence in my head "You don't matter, you could disappear and no one would care, your life doesn't mean anything." I wasn't going to cut or do anything to end my life but there were moments when I really wanted to. People love to point out all the things wrong me; I hate myself so much, everything about me, from the way I talk to how I solve math problems everything I do is bad or wrong and I don't want to deal with it anymore.
I don't want to deal with anyone or anything anymore.
