Being hit with a wave of depression is great! It's the fucking best!!!!! It washes over everything happy, erasing all the good thoughts. I've been crying for about 30 minutes probably. It hurts to breathe, I want my breathing to stop. I want everything to stop, I want everything to go away. I can't deal with life anymore. My mom recently bought me a new x-acto knife for a project I'm making... I haven't used an x-acto knife since I cut. She left it in my room because she trusts me... I don't trust myself. I've been holding the blade, fiddling with it in my hands... no one would know if I cut. No one would know if I went back to my old habits.
