I realize that I have no one to talk to and there are going to be two specific people that are going to comment on this saying I have them and others but in reality I don't.
I have no one to talk to,
No one to text in the middle of the night because I'm crying,
No one to text to tell them how much pain I'm in because I've stop eating again and I'm over working myself.
No one to text about how bad my depression really is.
No one to talk to when I'm to afraid to go out of my room because of my grandma.
I'm a burden to everyone and most I can't even tell because I don't want them to over react, I don't want them to call anyone. I can't tell the people I trust the most that I am extremely depressed because they talk to each other behind my back. If I tell one of them that I almost cut again a different person who never messages me will text me asking how I am, coincidence???
Anyone who knows me knows that I have really bad trust issues and honestly I don't trust most of my friends completely. I keep to myself so often that I forget that normal people tell their friend things like this.
I have no one to cry to in the middle of the night with a knife to my thighs ready to make new scars.
I have no one to cry to when I can't stand up and it hurts to breathe because of the lack of nutrition in my body.
I have no one to cry to when my grandma verbally and mentally abuses me.
No one to cry to when I'm on instagram and I see a post about self harm and I loose it and start crying uncontrollably because of all the memories.
I have no one to cry to after changing clothes or going to the bathroom and seeing my scars and being reminded that I'm weak and when I could have ended it I was to afraid.
I have no one to cry to when I just want to die.
