TORN//Derek Luh

Chapter 9

-Nivea's POV-

I wish that I would have just told Derek and Skate what was happening, but I couldn't because I was afraid of the awkwardness. 

Now I know that when I leave the hospital they are going to probably take me everywhere with them just to keep an eye on me. They will do it to make sure that I won't hurt myself, so I better prepare to be a 12th wheel with JJ because I know he hangs with them all of the time and he gets so uncomfortable so I will be a trooper now and be uncomfortable with him.

Maybe he will be an okay distraction from the fact I want to be with Derek but he is with Lele so maybe just maybe it will all be okay for right now. 

The Doctor walks in to check on me. "How are we Ms. Williams?" 

"I'm great Dr. Garner. Thank you." I smile. I actually feel somewhat better. I squeeze Derek and Skate's hands. 

The Doctor checks my vitals. "You're looking better. Your vitals are really good. I'm going to go get the discharge papers ready and you can be on your way okay?" 

"Thanks Doc sounds great." I say genuinely smiling a real smile. 

"Guys I just want to say I'm sorry for scaring you like that and doing this. Like I said I was at breaking point. Too much stuff was going on. I had been bullied at work. They were saying awful things but Madison, Stassie, Lele and Ana came to the rescue. I needed a break so I took a few days off. You know after slicing my arms open I feel better believe it or not." I say. 

"Is that all? You don't have anything else you want to tell us?" Derek asks raising an eyebrow. 

"No." I smile. He dismisses it.

"Well in that case you will be going everywhere with us. We have to know that you won't do something like this again." Skate says. 

I snort. "I'm not going to do shit. I won't hurt myself anymore. I was just so caught in the moment that I couldn't resist. Okay I was really upset I was seeing red at that moment. You have to trust me guys I didn't intentionally do this. I thought I was going to be okay, but I guess I wasn't. I mean I'm fine now. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my chest I promise." I try to plead with them. 

"You've never had an issue with being with us before lil mama. What's the issue now?" 

I sigh. "I just hate being the 12th wheel you know? Soon Baby J will have a girl and that will make me the 13th wheel. I hate that you guys have what I don't. You have significant others. I wish I could have that, but I don't okay. I'm jealous alright. I'm also in love with someone but I don't want to tell him because he doesn't need me." I say. 

"Who is he?" Derek asks. 

"Just this guy from work. You don't know him." I lie. 

"Oh. When will we meet him?" 

"Never. Like I said he's taken and doesn't need me. Honestly, every relationship I see, is probably a joke. I mean look at me I've had 2 boyfriends. One relationship was serious and he cheated because I wouldn't put out. I don't think I should have a boyfriend. Maybe I'll go lesbian, seems like it's working out for my sister so you know I'll try it too." I say seriously. 

"You're kidding right?" Derek asks. 

"No, Baby boy I'm being serious." I say. He notices my serious tone and furrows his eyebrows.

"You'll get your man babygirl." He says. Soon the Doctor comes back in with my papers. I sign them quickly. Skate runs out to the car to grab clothes for me because mine were covered in blood. 

Skate walks back in. "Here lil mama." He says handing me the clothes. I thank him and shoo the guys out of the room so I could change. 

I look at the clothes. These are Derek's. I smile while putting them on. I put on his camo shirt that says Friends, His favorite pair of grey Nike shorts, my black Nike's that he got me for my birthday and his favorite Red and black hoodie with white stars so that I can hide my cuts. I take in the scent. 

His hoodie smells so fucking good. Once I am dressed I step out into the hallway where the boys are. 

"Okay I'm ready." I smile. Derek looks up at me. He smiles widely. 

He hugs me tightly then keeps an arm around my shoulders as we walk out of the hospital. 

Derek you are definitely doing something to me right now boy.