Dricki Love & Lust Chronicles

What About Now?

"Happy birthday baby!" Nicki smiled brightly into her front facing camera and a perfect beard smile was returned instantly. 

"Thank you love," Drake said back as he sat up. "But ain't it a bit early?" he asked looking at the time on his clock, it was four o'clock in the morning and he was surprised that she was awake. After another night of celebrating his birthday, Drake was exhausted and ready to collapse but when he saw Nicki's contact i.d. appear on his phone he kept himself from shutting his eyes knowing that he could resist seeing her dimples and hearing her soft sweet toned voice. 

"You're welcome." She replied as she repositioned herself on her fully pillow. Drake could see that she had been sleeping and probable woke up just to tell him happy birthday which he greatly appreciated. "How was the party? I'm sorry I wasn't there but the second I can get on a plane I will hand deliver your present."

"It was live as fuck!" he laughed as he recounted the night's crazy antics and revelled in the fact that he was going to get to celebrate once more the following night. "And you know damn well that you of all people doesn't have to give me anything but your presence. That's all I want from you." He said and Nicki pretended to pout. 

"But you know I love giving gifts and I know you'll love the gift I wanna give." Nicki said and Drake gave her a cheeky smile before opening his mouth to speak only to be cut off. "And now it's not a baby or anything involving us making one either."  Nicki said and Drake rolled his eyes. 

"Well then what's the point?" He joked. "Because clearly you don't wanna give me what I really want." he laughed and she laughed on with him. 

"You know you don't want that anymore, that ship has sailed and sunk." Nicki said bleakly, he couldn't tell if she was being serious or not. Something about her tone held so many levels and a depth that anyone else would have missed. He studied her expression, her eyes, the sad smile that graced a perfect pair of lips that he lived to see curve so high that they creased the skin under her eyes while giving way to perfect pearly whites. It only took him have a second to read her entirely and Drake could see that somehow the power between them had finally shift, the tables had turned and now she laid in his place while he laid in hers. 

"You never know." 

"No I do." 

"Why say that Nic?" 

"Aubrey please, this is supposed to be a happy call. It's your birthday and we should be focusing on how you've reached an amazing milestone in your life."

"They don't say things like there's nothing between us and we have no chance of making it." Drake advised, he didn't hold any antagonism or bitterness. His tone was somber and delicate, like it always was when he spoke to her about serious things like this. 

"But there isn't one, I've lost that chance." 

"Isn't that for me to decide?" He asked and Nicki shook her head. 

"It is but I don't deserve it anymore, and I'm not saying that in a pity me sort of way. Its just the reality of the situation." 

"Again, isn't that for me to decide?" 

"But I know you, you'll make the wrong decision."

"When have you ever been the wrong decision?" He asked and Nicki sighed softly. "Onika I-" 

"Let's not talk about this now, there is no point and I don't want to upset you, today is your day and all about you," Nicki said in an attempt to dissolve the conversation but Drake wasn't having it. 

"Yeah it's my day and I can do whatever I want, which includes completing this conversation. A conversation we have been pushing into a corner for the past eight years. Onika this is almost a decade's worth of talking to make up for." 

"And maybe that should be a sign, I did what I did and made the choices I made and paid the price for it. I had you from the beginning and walked away over. I could have had a lifetime of happiness and love and knew it at every moment but still chose other things and people I knew wouldn't give me what I wanted." 

"It's not like you chose not to be happy." 

"No, but maybe I don't know how to be happy. I've never experienced a healthy or happy relationship. Never been in one, never watched one. I pick things I know will hurt because I know how to handle hurt and it just reminds me that I can hurt you the way they hurt me and I couldn't live with that. You are literally the perfect person for me and I ran from that because I didn't think I could live up to the idea of me you made up in your head. What would I do after I lost you, or if you got bored? I could prepare to be hurt by them, not by you. You would have me comfortable, barefoot and pregnant after a week with them I had to grind cause it was all on me." 

"Onika I love you, and I understand completely but I have to tell you that is the biggest load of shit I have ever heard in my life." Drake said and Nicki just stared at him. 

"Excuse me?" she said back. 

"Look I get what you're saying those were probably not the best choice of words but babygirl you gotta stop catastrophizing for a moment and realize that you're not alone at all and never was. It's like what you used to say about having a baby and giving up your career, shit this was stuff you would say when you were with SB, actin like that nigga had shit to do outside of you. You made it seem like no one would be there to be a father your child and it would all rest on you when you know damn well you wouldn't be the only one there. You know that if that nigga skipped out I would have been right there. You're so quick to decide the worst that you put off what you wanted instead of ripping off the bandaid."  Drake said and took a breath to sort himself. 

"I'm really not following, I kept putting it off cause I knew he wasn't the one." 

"And then you wasted more time on a nigga that didn't even deserve to carry your purse. You keep deciding what's going to happen forgetting that I'm here too, I think, I breath, I'm afraid. What happens if you get bored of me? What happens if I'm not what you think I am? Nic I can't believe you think I would treat you as less than what you are. And by the way I built you in my head to be exactly what you are now, the only woman that will curse me out and tell me she loves me in the same breath." 

"Aub-" 

"No I'm not done. You're right we could have been married on working on a third baby by now, I get that, but it doesn't mean that now is completely out the window." 

"Then now what do we do?" 

"What do you want to do?"

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Idk what that was supposed to be but that was just a little blurb that came to mind based off that little fav of Nicki's. Maybe I'll expand on this maybe not but eh it is what it is. and sorry if there are errors I just wanted to take a mini study break and this is what came of that