Roses are red, I have a phone, Nobody calls me, Forever alone.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You thought this was supposed to be funny, That’s racist of you.
GUY: “I would not date you if you were the last person on earth!”
ME: “If I was the last person on earth then you’d be dead!”
GUY: “did it hurt ?” GIRL: “did what hurt?” GUY: “ when you fell from heaven.” GIRL: “that’s so swe-“ GUY: “because it looks like you fell on your face.”
1.Pick a number between one and ten. 2. Add four. 3. Add five. 4. Add seven. 5. Subtract twelve. 6. Subtract the number you started with. 7. Is your answer four.
I don’t like morning people, or mornings, or people.
When someone says ‘EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED’ slap them really hard and say “you didn’t expect that did you.”
What do you call an awesome person? Me!!
One dark night, when it was past noon, a single girl flew over the moon. Her and her boyfriend swam under the sun. I suck at rhyming so I’m done.
What do you call a mouse that walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What do you call a duck that walks on two legs? All ducks.
