Talk nerdy to me.
Sweet as candy, cold as ice, breaks me once, I’ll break you twice.
You and I, we may look the same, but we are very far apart. There’s bullet-holes were my compassion used to be, and there is violence in my heart.
Did you hear that? That’s the sound of me not giving a shit.
Do you have a phone? Go call someone who cares.
I don’t exercise if God wanted us to bend over he would’ve put diamonds on the floor.
If heaven knew half the things I did, they wouldn’t let me in.
Talk grammar to me.
Revenge is sweet but its best served cold.
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
I used to wonder what it’d be like to read other people’s minds. Then I got a Facebook account, and now I’m over it.
“There are some cruel people in this world. Let’s not be like them.” – Amanda Trorroni
You are my one and only love in the universe.
A friend told me boys get nervous around their crush too. But I’m not too sure. Tell me what you think. – Ciara, Your Author.
When a guy likes you, he’ll try to do something cool around you, then check if you saw it.
Can we just fast forward to summer.
“I didn’t wanna fall in love, not at all. But at some point you smiled, and, holy shit, I blew it.”
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
And even it all we’ll ever be is just friends, I’ll still take that.
A couple were married for 65 years. They died 11 hours apart.
That moment when you remember something funny and can’t stop smiling like an idiot.
Music gets me through so much.
I wish there were visiting hours in heaven.
“My friend and I got so high that I convinced him I was a zombie. Bitch hid in the closet for then minutes.” – MHS.
“beauty sleep” is such bullshit I sleep 12 hours a day and I still look like a trashcan.
Me: “Happy birthday!!” Friend: “Okay, what did you get me?” Me: “You see that green Mercedes?” Friend: “Oh my God, yes thank you!!” Me: “I got you a tooth brush that same colour” Friend: “Really nigga?”
RED ------I love you,
PINK ----- you are cute,
GREEN ------ you are funny,
ORANGE ------ I like you,
WHITE ------ I used to like you,
YELLOW ------- you are unique,
BLACK ------- I hate you,
BLUE -------- I miss you.
In the Sponge Bob movie Sponge Bob mentions that he has 372 employees of the month awards. If you divide this number by 12 (the number of months in a year) it shows he has been working at Krusty Krab for 31 years if he started the job at around age 16, this would mean he is 47 years old. This is and unselling fact.
I have 5 fingers for a reason: My pinkie finger: for my best friend, and the promises I will never break. My ring Finger: for that special boy, when the time is right. My Middle Finger: for that bitches who pushes me to far… My pointer finger: to pick out my dearest family members. My thumb: to show the rest of the world I’m going to be okay.
Me: “Help! I’m being robbed!” “9-9-9 please hold….” Me: “Yo, chill the got me on hold bro.” Robber: “OK, I’ll tell my ride to wait for me.”
When the boys have the ‘v’ Boy: “The surgery went great! I have a vagina now.”
When my friend is mad at me: “ha ha, you love me.”
