There was once a magic mirror which would kill you if you lied to it. One day a brunette was doing her make-up and said to herself “I think I’m the smartest women ever!” She immediately dropped dead. The next day a redhead was doing her hair and said to herself “I think I am the prettiest woman alive!” She immediately dropped dead. Finally, the following day a blonde was flossing her teeth. She stopped and said to herself “I think…….” And dropped dead. No offence to blondes.
The Mothers name is Mrs. Sixty, the Son’s name is fifty, the Daughters name is fourty. What’s the Fathers name? Mr. Sixty.
Teacher: What do you call someone who can’t hear you. Student: you can call them anything you want they can’t hear you.
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the Psycho path.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work? A stick.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
What do you call something that is nervous and lies at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck.
Why do people in horror movies say “Hello? Is anyone there?” when they hear a noise it’s not like a monster or a robber is going to be like “OH ya I’m in the kitchen making a sandwich. You want one?”
When I’m bored, nobody texts me. But as soon as I’m busy. BAM! Nobody texts me.
They say you can’t live without love I’m pretty sure oxygen is more important.
What do you call a fake noddle? A impasta.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody knows.
Me: “I bet you can’t say the alphabet faster than me?” Friend: “abcdefghijkl…..” Me: “The alphabet.”
What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better perk up or people’ll think we’re the Nuts.
If each day is a gift then I’d like to know where I can return Mondays.
The word studying original comes from two words originally ‘student dying’.
-----A/N-----
The first Author’s Note of the book!! Hello people of earth or aliens? Enough about my teacher. We are about eight chapters in and so far I’ve done them all in the one night. So it’s about time I said hello. My name is Ciara, I’m thirteen, going through what every thirteen year old goes through. So…. You can follow me on Twitter @TheIrishFarmer tumbler TheIrishWeirdo or just follow me on here @TheIrishNerd. I’d also like to thank @sleepypie and @ellenxx17 who have already voted!! Thank you so much.
Vote, Share, Comment, Tell me what you think!!:) Enjoy the rest of the book.
-Your author Ciara xoxo
