A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
John woke up one morning immensely aroused so he turned over to his wife’s side of the bed. His wife, Heather, had already awakened though, and she was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that he might spoil things by getting up, John called his little boy into the room and asked him to take this note to your beautiful mommy. The note read: The Tent Pole Is Up, The Canvas Is Spread, The Hell With Breakfast, Come Back To Bed. Heather, grinning, answered the note and then asked her son to take this to your silly daddy. Her note read: Take The Tent Pole Down, Put The Canvas Away, The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage, No Circus Today. John read the note and quickly scribbled a reply. Then, he asked his son to take it back to the lady in the kitchen. His note read: The Tent Pole’s Still Up, And The Canvas Still Spread, So Drop What You’re Doing,
And Come Give Me Some Head. Laughing, Heather answered the note and then asked her son to take this to the poor dude upstairs. Her note read: I’m Sure That Your Pole’s The Best In The Land. But I’m Busy Right Now, So Do It By Hand.
Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey – he’s always stuffed!
Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
Because he wanted to sleep like a log.
Peter: Why do you never hear anything about the tenth reindeer, Olive?
Jo: Olive?
Peter: You know, “Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names.”
What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?
The letter D.
Person: “You’re being very quiet.” Me: “You don’t plan a murder out loud, do you?”
why did the cat say meow, bark bark and moo? it was studying different languages.
how do you confuse a dumb person? put them in a round room and tell them to sit in a corner.
