My Stream of Consciousness - 1

This isn't for attention I swear

There's an ambulance outside the house right now my dad's sick like really sick they need to take him to hospital I'm scared I'm so scared what if he dies what if he has a bad sickness nobody can cure what I feel he has cancer what if he doesn't come back from the hospital 

I'm crying so hard to type I'm sorry I'm scared what's wrong with him is he okay I'm so scared what if he dies I don't know what to to I'm scared I'm panicking Im freaking out I don't know what to do it's scary 

I'm in my room with all the lights off and the blinds closed I'm so scared I can't see my eyes are tears what do I spdo I have not clue what I'm supposed tot do help me I'm so scared I hope he doesn't die I thi he's hurt badly he's very sick i feel like it's my fault what do I do my moms not here she doesn't know what's going on I feel so stupid help me I want to end it all first my mom broke her leg now my dad's sick andf my brother and sister don't help me they think I'm fine in Note fine I'm not okay help me please I'm scared and my iPads at 2% I need a charger but I'm scared to go down there to where the ambulance people are and where dad and Gillian and Mitchell ar I'm so scared guys what do I do????.....