Heaven or Hell?

Chapter Four:

Leo and Becky will be here in ten minutes. That gives me ten minutes to finalise my thoughts. I am still debating whether or not to tell him about Liam, but common sense tells me that I have too. Because now the choice to tell him or not has practically been taken out of my hands, thanks to that jerk Jack.

How did he find out anyway? The only people that ever knew about Liam was myself and Becky. Not even my own parents knew, not that they would notice considering they're never home due to travelling twenty-four seven. But still I kept my pregnancy top secret and successfully managed to keep it that way. At least I thought I did.

Not even my old friends know about Liam, they may of done if they didn't start ignoring me. But as far as I am aware no body else knew besides me and Becky. So how on earth did Jack find out?

Becky wouldn't of told him! I know that for sure. After all we are sworn enemies and that was proven earlier today by the way that Jack spoke to Becky. So I can cross Becky out of my suspect book. Not that I actually have one, but hey if I did Becky's name would be crossed out.

The sound of the doorbell breaks me out of my suspicions. Time to reveal the truth to Leo. I wonder how he will take it?

"Hey" Becky says as she walks past me with an over night bag. Did I forget to mention that because my parents are constantly travelling. Becky pretty much stays round mine every night to keep me company.

"Hey" I quietly respond as I look back towards my open front door to find Leo there, just standing in the door way.

"Are you waiting for a formal invitation?" I sarcastically ask with a small smile forming on my lips.

"No, I was just recalling the last time I stood here in your door way" he answers with his own smile. The last time he stood there, when was that? It wasn't the day he left because he never told me he was leaving. And every other day just seems like a blur after he left, like a long lost forgotten dream.

"When was that?" I ask curiously because by the look on his face, it is obviously something that I should remember.

"Don't worry if you can't remember, probably for the best anyway" he shrugs before walking past me and into my living room. But now that has only made me even more determined to remember what happened the last time he was here in my house.

"So what are we going to do? Watch a movie?" Leo asks as I make a appearance in the living room. But I remain silent, instead I give a pleading look to Becky. As if I was begging her to tell him but she simply shakes her head. Indicating that she will break the ice but I have to drop the bomb.

"No Leo, we or rather Zoey has something to tell you" Becky states as she sits herself down on the sofa.

"Okay, so what do you have to tell me?" Leo asks me, his tone full of worry and concern. But I also sense a hint of fear in his voice.

"This morning you asked who Liam Taylor was, yeah?" I say, hoping their may be a chance that he will drop the conversation and walk away from the matter. But like always luck isn't on my side.

"Yeah" is all he answers before raising an eyebrow at me as if telling me to carry on.

"Well, two months ago I buried him and the only people who came to his burial was myself and Becky who would of been his godmother" I say as I wipe a tear away from my eye as the memory of burying my baby begins to resurface.

"I am sorry for your lost, but why would Becky be a godmother to Liam, surely that is only when someone is christened?" Leo questions as his eyebrows crease together in confusion. And I'm not going to lie, when he pulls a face like that it is unbelievably hard not to laugh at him. Especially, when he looks like a poorly desperate child in need of answers.

"Your correct, and Liam would of been christened if he lived" I answer.

"Okay, so who was Liam? Was he your cousin or brother or something?" Leo questions trying to put together the final missing piece of the puzzle together. But it is this remaining piece that I am hesitant to give him. Because it is this piece that will portray our future together, either as friends or more. Not that I am looking to be in a relationship with anyone anytime soon. But when someone like Leo walks into your life and steals your heart let alone your innocence. It is incredibly hard to ever stop loving him. So with one big breath I say those four words that will change both of our lives. "He is your son"

At least ten minutes have gone by since I broke the news to Leo about him being Liam's dad. And each one of those minutes have been filled with silence. Deadly silence.

"Leo, are you okay?" Becky asks him as she stands near me, offering her support as I slowly feel myself breaking down inside.

"Are you sure he was my son?" Leo questions me, as if accusing me of been someone who sleeps around. So of course what do I do? I snap.

"What is that suppose to mean?!" I yell through tears.

"It's a simple yes or no question Zoey" is all Leo responds.

"Yes he is your son! He is one hundred percent your son! And shall I tell you how I know? It's because you were my first and last time Leo! All it took was for that one incident to create such a fragile creature that died at seven months! Did you know today was his due date? Of course you didn't! And why was that? Because you left! You left me without no explanation, no text, no call, nothing! And now you don't even have the decency to apologise for your absence, let alone accuse me of sleeping around!" I hysterically screech at such a high note that I am surprised my windows didn't break. But I'm also surprised by my lack of control, not once have I ever lost my self control like that. And now look at me? I am a crying disaster.

"Perhaps we should all go to bed?" Becky suggests as she begins to push me out of my own living room.

"What do you mean we? He ain't staying here!" I shout loud enough so that Leo can here me from the hallway.

"Zoey, it a thunder and lightning storm out there, do you want him to die?" She asks me with her arms crossed.

"Why not? My baby died why shouldn't he?" I say without a thought in the world for his feelings.

"Zoey, you know that's uncalled for!" Becky says, but I choose to ignore her comment and storm upstairs into my bedroom. Making sure to slam my bedroom door hard enough so that they know not to disturb me.

And they don't. Or at least Becky doesn't, because just as I begin to feel my eyelids drop from the tiredness of crying myself to sleep. I feel a strong pair of arms wrap around my torso, before having my body being pulled into a rock hard chest. Leo's chest. Where the last thing I hear before falling to sleep is "I'm sorry Zoey"