Have Hope

Hope (edited)

"After you," I add, finally glancing up at her to see her reaction. I have grown up calling her Lee, and I decided a long time ago it'd be the perfect middle name for my baby girl. While I always thought of Andrew to be the most consistent person in my life, I can now see that it's always been Leah. And Brennan, but he's required to love me. Leah stuck around by my side even when I didn't deserve her at all.

There were times I'd cancel on her last minute to see Andrew, and, while it did upset her, if Andrew and I got in an argument the next day, Leah was willing to be my shoulder to cry on.

The moment I fully decided to name my baby after her was when she moved back to Indiana to help me. Even before I knew the baby's gender, I knew he or she would share something with Leah.

She's the best friend in the world.

Fresh tears brim my best friend's eyes as they meet mine. She gently wraps her arms around me, careful of Hope. "I love you, H."

"Love you, too, Lee."

We all spend the next few minutes watching her in awe. She has a little bit of brown hair growing on her head, and she seems like the smallest, most fragile thing in the world. Her eyes are beautiful. And just like her dad's – big and ocean blue. It's like looking at Andrew, but I don't mind because she is completely amazing.

A nurse pops in, and I know what's coming. "Do you mind if we take her and give her a bath?" I do mind, but I know I don't have much of a choice. I hand her over to the stranger, like I'm handing over a limb. The nurse promises she will be back in just a few minutes. I think she could tell I did not want to give her my baby.

"Nine months sure flew by," Brennan lets out a low whistle. "Are you ready for our parents to come in?"

"Yeah. And Shea and Craig."

Brennan dips out of the room to go retrieve everyone.

"Is your mom going to come by?" I ask Leah with hopeful eyes.

Mrs. Isabella was more of a mother to me in my teenage years than my own mom. She helped me through the hardest years of being a girl, like starting my period. I want her here for another one of the hardest times of being a woman: post birth.

"Of course," Leah says, like it's totally implied. It kind of is, but I had to check. "She and Dad are going to come by tomorrow, if that's okay?"

"Perfect."

Brennan returns, slowly opening the door with our and Andrew's parents trailing behind him.

Shea has also played a very important role in my life since I met her son. She helped me prep for the SATs, let me stay over in the spare bedroom whenever I wanted since I lived alone after Brennan went away to college, and consoled me on the nights her son made stupid decisions that hurt me.

She was over my place only a couple days after Andrew left, rubbing my back and promising me I would be okay.

My mom approaches my bed and takes my hand in hers, squeezing it. "How'd it go, baby?"

"Great," I reply. While the experience of crying and pushing was definitely a zero out of ten, the outcome made it worth it. "She's a healthy 19.6 inches long and 7.4 pounds, born at 1:22."

"What'd you name her?" Shea asks from the end of my bed.

"Hope Lee Brooks," I tell everyone.