Have Hope

The Day He Left (edited)

Drew is going to be here any minute, and I have no fucking idea what I am going to say.

I can easily show him the positive pregnancy test that is still sitting on my dresser. Or I could say Drew! I'm so happy to see you! By the way, I'm pregnant.

Both seem rather abrupt and insensitive.

But I have to tell him.

The only person I've told is Leah over the phone two days ago. As soon as the test came back positive, she was the first person I called in complete hysterics.

"He's Andrew Matters, Helaina," she had said, "the same guys that's been in love with you since nearly ran him over at the park. Everything will be okay."

She is going to be right.

We are still young and not even out of college yet, but we've been together for five years. I know we can figure how to raise a baby together, despite how hard it'll be. He loves me, and I love him; it's all going to be okay.

My breath hitches in my throat when I hear the doorknob jingle to unlock; Drew has a set of keys for my apartment to use whenever he comes over. I stay frozen in place, standing by the high-top counter.

He opens the door with an overnight bag over his shoulder and his arms held out wide. The same relaxed grin that he's always sporting.

"Drew," I say, fighting back my tears that are threatening to escape. My lip begins to quiver, so I gnaw on it to prevent it from being noticeable.

"Hey, Lainey." He closes the distance between us and wraps his arms my waist. I step onto my tiptoes and kiss him. While our lips move together slowly and passionately, making up for the lost time, all I can think about is our baby growing inside of me.

This semester, our schedules worked out that neither of us has classes on Wednesday nights or Thursday mornings, so sometimes Drew will come over to watch a movie and spend the night, then head back to school in the morning.

Tonight is movie night.

Drew rests his forehead against mine and cups my cheek with his hand. "Are you okay?" The worry etched across his face is like a promise. A promise that I will tell him, and he will be happy about it. Drew loves me. He will be happy to start a family with me.

"Yeah, I just missed you."

I was supposed to go to Drew's last weekend because his roommate was throwing a huge party, but I decided last minute to just stay home because I really wasn't feeling well. That was the day before I took the pregnancy test.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah," I lie.

Not only am I still throwing up every morning, but I have been a hysterical mess since finding out I'm pregnant at the age of 20.

"Good," he kisses my forehead sweetly. "What movie are we watching tonight?"

"Happy Death Day, is that good?"

"Perfect." He kisses my forehead again before going to the cupboard to put the popcorn in the microwave.

"I'll get some blankets." By get blankets, I mean I will go to my bedroom and take a few minutes to "look for blankets" while I'm actually just mentally preparing myself for what I have to do.