drawings

21

After some time, it's now a beautiful Monday. I didn't want to stay home and suffer so I got up and got dressed for work. I step outside and take a deep breath. It was pretty chilly, but it's pleasant. 
I look down at my wrists and notice the purple tint because of the cold air. They were on their way to healing, but they still looked disgusting to me. I turn my eyes away quickly and shove my sleeves down. 

When I get to work I push the door open and see Brendon restocking the shelves. 

I walk up behind him and enjoy the same old smell the store always has. It was comforting. 
"Heyo, Bren!"
"Hello, love." 
He turns to me and hugs me. 
"We finally got a new shipment, it's pretty neat stuff." He says, smiling fondly. He has always really loved his job and what music artists we get to support.

We talk about the things that came with our shipment for a little bit longer then I walk off to go put my things away in the back. When I walk back over to Brendon I begin helping him put away the new things we got and making sure everything was thoroughly organized to our standards. 

When I finally snap back to reality (I had to.) I notice Brendon hadn't been talking as much as usual. 
"You're not very talkative today," I say, trying to sound nonchalant. 
He hums in response, not really saying anything to ease my nerves about it. 

"Bren," I whine, starting to feel defeated at this point. 
He hears the worry thick in my voice and freezes. 
"Yes, Ty?" he says sweetly. 
"What's wrong?"
He finishes the last of what he's doing then walks over to me. 
He looks in my eyes with sincerity, "I would rather talk about it later."
I nod, then huff and walk off to go and record our new inventory into the computer. 
I hear him audibly sigh from behind me but I choose to not turn around and invoke an argument about it. 

After a few hours of me being pouty and avoiding Brendon, we have some employees clock in so we can finally go on Brendon and I's shared lunch break. I meet up with him at the door and he walks out with me and leads me next door at our normal lunch spot. 

We go inside, a strong food smell invading our senses right away, and place our order. After we get our food we go and sit across from each other at a 2 person table. Out of habit, Brendon and I intertwine our lanky legs and lay our food out for easier access. 
I take a huge bite of my sandwich and a sip of my drink then decide it's time to dig some more as to what's bothering my large-foreheaded friend. 
"So, Bwen?" crumbs fall out of my mouth and my voice sounds like a child as I try to speak with my mouth full. 
"Hmmm?" his mouth full as well.
I swallow, then drink some more so he can hear my serious voice. 
"Can we talk about what's bothering you, now?" 
He nods, keeping his eyes on his food. 
I reach over and give his hand a reassuring squeeze. 
"I don't know, it's kind of a lot in a way." He stalls. 
I nod, wanting to let him speak. 
"Well, Tyler, I-" his voice begins cracking, "I wasn't there, y-you could've died." He exhales a long shaky breath. 
No, no. He shouldn't be blaming himself, I would never blame him. 
"Brendon, this- that wasn't your fault." 
"I was in the same house, Tyler! I was literally a fucking room over from you!" He snaps, his hand slamming down onto the table. 
Before I can object again, he speaks "And Tyler, I know something I can't even talk about and it's beginning to eat me alive." 
He runs a hand through his hair and takes another bite. 
"Brendon, Blurry's shit show is NOT your fucking fault," his eyes widen at my use of curse words, "YOU are the one who has saved me all these years, Bren! Shit, fuck! I love you a lot, you know that. Please, God, please don't blame yourself." 
Brendon's face shows sadness, but a hint of relief. 
"What can you not talk about?" I inquire. 
"N-nothing really." he shifts around anxiously. 
"Brendon," I warn, really not wanting to hear bullshit. 
He opens his mouth to speak several times but closes it. 
"Ty, I can't." he sighs. 
"Okay," I start eating again and sulk down into my seat, "I guess best friends do keep secrets." I softly whisper.